♥of.anniversary.&.me.♥

Happy 4th anniversary my dear escapism.

You've been a darling to me.

---

2007 is ending(already?) in few days.I hafta admit that this year is truly loaded with I didn't see it coming personal growths. I nailed my 1st & 2nd job. I graduated. I've been tremendously maju in some aspect of life which is unbelievable to name a few.

I'm thankful. Very.

Alhamdulillah.

♥of.dilemma.&.me.♥

Owh..

I think that I actually missed talking to someone. *sighs*

---

Well,hope that it's not too late for me to wish all of you a Happy EID Adha. Did you have a great one? I sure do. I ate a lot, like nobody's business - like I didn't bother bout all the fat that I'm consuming,like mon cher didn't actually poke at my tummy saying that I'm fat,tho I'm yet to develop any love handles and whatnot - well darling,it's a lil bit too late to complaint. What you see is absolutely what you'll get and I've seen enough of what I'm getting.At least I'm 25kg lighter. yey me! :P

Owh yea,I'm still at home whilst most of everybody at work gonna be start working tomorrow. I'm just taking my chances(of getting fired?) - especially when it's rare for you to have a long break from work and it only gets better when your dear cousin is a doc. See the connection? Brilliant.

---

On a lighter note, dad is actually offering something.Something that's supposedly hard,tremendously hard to resist. Something that I've been waiting for like..forever? - or since I've learned that Europe exists, but somehow I think that it just popped at the wrong moment. I hate to be hasty,especially for something that I've been craving for.Something that I truly madly deeply want - besides the new car,lappy and whatnot. *sighs*

Dilemma, and all I need now is a decision.

Decision. Decision.

Ya Allah please,shed some light.Aidez moi

---

& I still missed talking to someone. *sob*

♥of.cleanliness.&.me.♥

I believed that I'm someone that's easy to live with. Tho I'm not particularly categorized as the neat freak,(note: programmers are bound to be a lil bit messy sometimes,especially during the I feel like pulling all my hair off phases.Ya know whut I mean?)but I would consider myself to be pretty okie since I don't actually left a pile of dirty laundry at the back of the bedroom door(I truly know someone who does) or things like that.

So,with that note in mind, here comes the main story of my post. I just REALIZED that I'm living with 32 years old unmarried neat freak.Owh lucky! I'm not disturbed with the fact that she really appreciates cleanliness, but to leave a note on the white board(that's placed inside the bathroom,ehem!) to remind you that you hafta do this and that is a lil bit phbbbtt for me & to jot down the date when she actually cleansed and re-cleansed the sink? Haih, I scrub the sink every time I'm done with my morning ritual(gosok gigi,basuh muka & whatnot) cause I hate to have a tooth-paste/cream cleanser stained sink,so does it mean that I hafta jot it down too? Just to let her know that I did it? *shrugs*

Well,all in all. It's better to live in such state rather than living with the we only talk behind your back bunch. It's a breath of fresh (or is it the Dettol antiseptic I smell?) air.

*inhaling*

I'm truly glad that I'm not sharing the room with anybody. At least there's enough space for messy-ness individuality. :P

Don't ya agree?

♥of.donut.&.me.♥

How inconsiderate of me,being too swept away in my crabby-ness(such word?) thus forgetting the good food part of the weekend. Just like my stubbornness and C***'s kemengadaan that go hand in hand, the same goes to my weekend and fattening food. They just clicked together.

So what's my menu for the weekend? Hmmpp..let's see,nothing fancy.Just loads of fast foods and half a dozen of J.Co donuts - and mind you,we waited in a loooooong queue which seemed to go on forever - for a good 45 minutes(for donuts?Yes,we are THAT crazy sometimes) just to get em. Pity C***, I bet he wouldn't be bothered to be in such hassle if his cherie(yang terkenal dengan keloratannyer(?)) wasn't that curious and whatnot. he he.

Well,tho we got home that nite with an aching feet - due to excessive walking + queuing, at least we got a bunch of wonderful donuts.Right?

So dearest, mind for another queue? :P

♥of.ultimate.&.me.♥

We finally had it(& it's not like I asked for it),the ultimate one so far. Not much of the heated argument thingy. It's more of him asking me why and me being ME, will stick to my it's nothing automated response like my life depends on it.Duh!

Yer saya sememangnye degil ditambah pula dgn kemengadaan anda.See?We are so for each other.ha ha ha.

But tell ya what darling, I'm sorry if I made you lose it. Can't promise that it won't happen again, but I will truly try to go easy on my automated response.

Well,moi heart you still.

♥of.detest.&.me.♥

I hate to be taken for granted.

I hate to feel like I'm the eager one in making a relationship works, be it with the other half or my buddies.

I hate it when the other half gave me the why are you being so clingy you never complaint before remarks, when all I need is a stupid it takes less than 30 secs to type message every now and then to lemme know that you're blardy alive and okay.

Is that too much to ask?

Owh,perhaps it is way too much.I shall not waste your precious time.

Nevermind.

♥of.missing.&.me.♥

I LOST MY BLARDY NOTEBOOK POWER ADAPTER.

The big fat question is, how is it possible for the adapter to be missing when I didn't even take it out of the house or to be specific the room since God knows when?

Well,I don't actually know when the adapter disappeared, cause the last time I actually used it was 2-3 weeks back.

Kesian notebook saya, tak boleh di turn-on kan lagi,battery pon sudah flat.

Kesian saya sebab apabila kebosanan(di rumah baru),tidak boleh menonton movies dan bermain computer game.

Orang (ataupon mungkin tikus) yang mencuri notebook adapter saya itu memang kejam, jahat dan tidak berhati perut.Tak aman lah hidup anda, terima kasih.

*menangis*



p/s: Sob. Need to get a new adapter.PRONTO!

♥of.prayer.&.me.♥

Ya Allah,

Please let them know how much it means to me.

Please don't let them be worried.

Please give me some space to satisfy my own curiosity.

Please just let me be.

Mon Dieu, please...aidez moi.

♥of.pwl.&.me.♥

Just a photo,



a lyric

Bintang malam katakan padanya
Aku ingin melukis sinarmu di hatinya
Embun pagi sampaikan padanya
Biar ku dekap erat waktu dingin membelenggunya

Tahukah engkau wahai langit
Aku ingin bertemu membelai wajahnya
Kan ku pasang hiasan angkasa yang terindah
Hanya untuk dirinya

Lagu rindu ini kuciptakan
Hanya untuk bidadari hatiku tercinta
Walau hanya nada sederhana
Ijinkan ku ungkap segenap rasa dan kerinduan

&

an updated wish list.

♥of.24th.&.me.♥

2 days past 24th Nov 2007, C***'s 24th birthday.Bonne Anniversaire mon cher, I hope you had a good one,even if it's not as great as expected. <3

Anyway...

I'm starting my week with a humongous Monday blues and loads of discoveries in hand.What's up with the discoveries? One word, GREAT. Further glorified by moi partner in crime's remarks upon the sharing is caring session.Yea babe,more I think of it,the more I actually think it's an amusing one.Perhaps my lucky star is finally shining. *sparkling eyes*

Tho it may seems like nothing but candy land(for now).Truthfully,it has been a long winding road for me before I finally stumbled and decided to take the path that I'm in. Moi darling knows how I blabber my way through my endless paranoia. It's hard being a newbie in things like these,especially at this age. It makes you feel rather..stupid and pathetically lame.Seriously.

On another note,don't you realize that it's emotionally costly to be all excited and happy without shattering your heart into pieces nowadays? - so be real careful hun, else the next thing ya know, you might find yourself in a padded room wearing a straitjacket.he he.

So lets pray for loads of luck,shall we?

p/s:Ya,I'm a sucker for song with the piano playing on the background thingy. What a gurl to do? :P

♥of.parents.&.me.♥

Yea,unfortunately I'm back.Leaving you with no space to miss me.

Anyway,my dad actually started another series of his I want you to come back and work here at the XXXX MNC company. speech.

It's not like I don't want to,considering all the dough that I might be getting,but the thing is,getting a respectable job that guaranteed a thick dough with the utter help of your beloved father is a turn off for me. It's not like I'm too proud of myself,or that I'm way above the parents pulling all cabel to help their kid to get a good job thingy - which is rather usual these days - BUT just let me be, at least I'll know how $hitty or wonderful my life could be when I'm handling it on my own.

I know they are helping & there's just no way that I'll forget everything that they ever did for me. Their endless love,support and whatnot.BUT somehow (yea another BIG but), it just makes me feel like I'll never be good enough to do things on my own, as if I'll just collapse once they loosen their grips off me,as if I couldn't stand on my own feet.

They want me to be independent,but how could I be when they keep on flustering me on each and every single thing that I do. It's like hoping that your lil one will eventually learn to ride a real bicycle but somehow refuses to take them off the training wheels forever.

*sighs*

I'm grateful to have such parents,I truly do.But at times, it just makes me nauseous.
I don't wanna be an ungrateful child a la Tanggang si anak derhaka. So God help me.Please.

Mon Dieu,aidez moi.

♥of.parents.&.me.♥

Yea,unfortunately I'm back.Leaving you with no space to miss me.

Anyway,my dad actually started another series of his I want you to come back and work here at the XXXX MNC company speech.

It's not like I don't want to,considering all the dough that I might be getting,but the thing is,getting a respectable job that guaranteed a thick dough with the utter help of your beloved father is a turn off for me. It's not like I'm too proud of myself,or that I'm way above the parents pulling all cabel to help their kid to get a good job thingy - which is rather usual these days - BUT just let me be, at least I'll know how $hitty or wonderful my life could be when I'm handling it on my own.

I know they are helping & there's just no way that I'll forget everything that they ever did for me. Their endless love,support and whatnot.BUT somehow (yea another BIG but), it just makes me feels like I'll never be good enough to do things on my own.That I'll just collapse once they take off their steady helping hands of me,as if I can't even stand on my own feet.

They want me to be independent,but how could I be when they keep on flustering me on each and every single thing that I do. It's like hoping that your lil one will eventually learn to ride a real bicycle but somehow refuses to take them off the training wheels forever.

*sighs*

I'm grateful to have such parents,I truly do.But at times, it's just suffocating. I don't wanna be an ungrateful child a la Tanggang si anak derhaka. So God help me.Please.

Mon Dieu,aidez moi.

p/s:Being the only daughter comes with a gigantic hellish price, for me to pay that is.Where's mon petit ami when I need him.

♥of.update.&.me.♥

Brief update:

I'm moving out! Yey me!

Went out with C*** for my pre moving to a new place shopping,bought a bunch of stuff for the new place which is nowhere near to sufficient, so another round of shopping spree is obviously mandatory. A pretty blue curtain and a matching comforter set coming right up.Ehem!

I can't wait for the weekend to come! *grins*

I'm off! Don't miss me :P

♥of.predict.&.me.♥

A friend spontaneously asked whether I think that she's going out with the wrong guy. Being me, I just can't really judge people when I don't personally know them, tho sometimes I do and have to judge them based on the details that were showered on me by the darlings which I absorbed,like a sponge. So she got one of those hope for the best,prepare for the worst answer from me. Case closed.

Then she jokingly asked whether I think that I'm going out with the wrong guy. It's like..AHA! am I?

I don't know hun.I seriously can't tell.

Well,who on earth going to admit or particularly able to see that she/he is with the we're so not meant to be but you just don't know it yet significant others until it's way too late or when everything is literally over?

It's not something we can predict, not when all you can see is candy land.Owh saya tak nampak candy land pon sekarang,wajib ke? Tapi ada sorang cik abang tu yang rasa camtu,cinta itu nampaknya tidak membutakan anda yer,kasi anda nampak memenda yang bukan-bukan adalah :P.

Well darlings,since it's something that we can't foresee,lets pray for the best & prepare for the worst.Shall we?

♥of.wreck.&.me.♥

My lil bro was involved in an accident last Sunday, on his way back from a friend's house. I only got to know about it from my mum LAST NIGHT. Phhhbbtttt... mum thought that she didn't want to bother me with the news during the weekend - since my bro escaped with nothing but some bruises and cuts tho the car is a total wreck Alhamdulillah..

I tried to call him last nite but I couldn't get through,perhaps he was already asleep or he might be a lil freaked out over the fact that he just turned my beloved bf(read:car) into a clump of besi buruk,the 4wd that served me well during my undergrad years. Well darling I'm not going to nag about the car, I couldn't careless. A car is just a car,it's something money can buy - to be exact, it's something dad's money can buy.(Note: Saya programmer cabuk,mana la ade duit nak beli keta.Shopping boleh la :P)he he. He was planning to switch the car with a new one anyway(new car for me? ehem! :D),so no worries hun. You're safe and that's all that matters.

Back to work.

p/s: my blessing in disguise?

♥of.whiney.&.me.♥

It has been almost a week and I'm still not loving the new place. It's just not for me, plus C*** and Munie have been urging me to find a new place since like.... forever.

*sighs*

The neighborhood is a tad scary & the bathroom is spooky.Kalau ayah awak tengok, dia halau balik Kedah. - kata C***

The area is not good la.Cepat-cepat la cari tempat lain.Serious.Ke awak nak duduk rumah gua? - Kata Munie.

Saya pon tak suka area rumah tu. Sangat spooky okay. Memang tak sanggup nak home alone during the weekend(walaupon dah amat jarang home alone sebab I'm not even home during the weekend.) - Kata yours truly.

Conclusion,I SERIOUSLY need to find a new place ASAP. I don't really mind if it gonna cost me an arm and a leg - as long as I'm not terrified of the idea of going back home at the end of the day or the possibility of being home alone during the weekend - it's like the least thing I wanna worry about since a house should always be a safe sanctuary. Somewhere you could be at peace after a long day at work.Kalau nak balik rumah pun takut-takut.Camne???

Haih.The whiney-me. C*** don't like me when I'm whiney,tapi suke tak?. :P

---

Owh,my older cousin called and asked me to help with her open house(read:tolong babysit anak dia while she's all busy with the guests) this weekend. How could I say no to babysit budak kecik yang comel sambil mencubit pipi mereka? *raises eyebrow* I don't mind taking care of kids - as long as I don't have to clean up their poo or something. :p

Well,I need to get back to my asp-oracle thingy.I'm off.

Tata.

♥of.drama.&.me.♥

O M G.

Despite all criticisms from ma tante et mon oncle,mon cousin still boldly stands with à lui cherie.

Despite all the tacky she's just not one of us thus shall not be considered lines, I still could see her smiling pictures on you know where. You don't? Too bad.

He he.

What a drama.I thought they are only on tv.

p/s:Mon Dieu,please don't let me be in one.

♥of.moving.&.me.♥

I'm going to move to a new place this weekend,to be exact - I HAVE to move.

I saw the new place 2 months back.Well,not really a place that I wanna live in but I have no choice,since I didn't help much with the house-hunting so it's not my place to whine,complaint and be ungrateful.However,the moment I laid my eyes on the neighborhood and especially the house. I freaked out, a little. Somehow I just knew that my dad surely gonna freak out,a LOT - if he happen to come over and gimme a visit next month.

Now I'm worried over the fact that he gonna be worried once he gets to see the place.

*sighs*

Why am I making a fuss over the new place? Well, the one and only time that I used to live in such housing area (read:Taman perumahan) was ages ago.When I was 5 or perhaps 6 and the place was not even as crowded/old as the new place, and I was living with my family - the safe family cocoon you see? Even when I was living off campus with the Darlings during my undergrad years,it was a 5 mins walk from the campus condo.

It's not like I hate living in those kinda place,tho I do admit that the spoilt brat side of me is not very keen of the idea. The new place is just kinda crowded and spooky in an unexplainable way, so I.AM.WORRIED.

God help me.Aidez moi.

Owh.C*** going to help me with the moving and stuff.Anda sememangnya sweet dan baik hati.Sayang anda.Walaupon anda sememangnya takde pilihan lain dan terpaksa tolong saya berpindah,kot tak saya merajuk. :P

Back to work.

♥of.belated.weekend.&.me.♥

Perhaps it's not too late to write about the weekend. The Saturday was wisely spent on bed with occasional out of bed trip to eat,pray,shower and such. I was seriously advised by someone to have loads of rest to cure the flu, which ended up quite unsuccessfully successfully since I was fine enough to go out with C*** on the next day.

---

We went to catch a movie on Sunday.The cinema was half empty.We got a pair of good seats without the need of online,phone booking or whatsoever.Yey us!When we were waiting for the movie to start,we just came to realize that it has been ages since the last time we went out for a movie together,ages as in lightyears ago because I couldn't even recall the name of the last movie.Sungguh pathetic.

Anyway,Sunday's indulgences consist of a large caramel popcorn,Thai food(which we can't even pronounce), my favorite heavenly Lychee Paradise smoothies - minus my fav Lecka lecka cherry ice cream which was nowhere to be seen on that particular outlet :(

Well,I'm off. Need to finish up the codings.

Tata.

p/s:The movie's Bourne Ultimatum.One word,great.Cepat pegi tengok.

♥of.EID.&.me.♥

Yea,I'm still pretty much in the raya mood tho I'm down with a mild fever + sore throat + runny nose + at WORK. A complete package.How purrfect is that?

And yea,I'm still going to blog about my raya.Whether you like it or not :P

We went back the day before Raya,right after Subuh with the hope that we'll be able to reach Kedah,to be specific moi grandparents' place by noon and thankfully, we made it.Yey!

Everybody dah selamat sampai kg except for Pak Lang and family coz they went down south for their EID.Helped Maksu with her few last batch of cookies and managed to work on the ultimate choc cake of century with my cousin and it turned out to be super fine. 75% of it was gone right after the break fast,lum sempat nak raya pon.Teeheee...see?I'm not exaggerating. :P

---

1st day of Raya

If there's a day where I actually thought of getting myself far far far away from the abundant super fattening food. This hafta be it. Ketupat palas, nasi minyak, nasi himpit,rendang,kuah kacang,laksa,cake raya,kuih raya,dodol raya, etc etc. Toooooo much food. I was already bloated by noon. However, I got to burn the calories by entertaining the endless guests, wash the dishes(while wearing my blardy ayu baju raya.Haih!),interrogate the lil cousin's boyfriend who boldly showed up at the grandparents' place - kids these days,sangat maju I tell ya. I would rather eat the burning hot sambal belacan that I've been avoiding for my entire life for a whole week than to ask my bf to show up like that.Sangat menakotkan

Owh,did I tell you that I got quite handful of duit raya this year? When you thought that your duit raya years are sadly over.It's not. *grins* That only indicates one thing,or maybe two.

o1.Saya kelihatan begitu keanak-anakan,sehingga relatives beranggapan bahawa saya masih di bawah umur dan bersekolah.
o2.They simply know that being me,the current monthly money that I'm getting is obviously not sufficient thus the kind-hearted tok,macik and pacik decided to ease my pain.I like!

---

2nd day of raya

We were already back home on the 2nd day of raya cause my dad actually invited his former staff in tourism and our relatives to come over for the so-called open house or otherwise known as makan-makan raya secara 'kecil-kecilan' by dad.So much of the kecil-kecilan,I felt like an over-dressed bibik coz I hafta do almost everything that a bibik does for a living.Okie la,I'm not supposed to complaint, it's just a once a year thingy so I ought to help but sometimes,I do hope that dad could be more precise with his word.A kecil-kecilan should be small,and not the house was packed and the cars were parked bumper to bumper and I hafta turn into a bibik.Penat.It was hard to be dead penat while having to keep a smiley face - especially when the parents start their usual "Ni la anak perempuan saya" "Yea,this is my only daughter that I've told you about".Sungguh miserable rasanye,especially during the end of the day ,clean-up part.

If you're wondering,despite all of those complaints.I still love having friend and relatives visiting during raya. It shows that you are worth their precious hari raya moments.
Oh ya,saya berjaya tidur tanpa menghiraukan nyamok-nyamok yang berkeliaran di dalam bilik - nyamok-nyamok itu berada di dalam bilik kerana budak-budak yang berkeliaran masuk ke dalam bilik tak reti2 nak tutup pintu bilik saya itu.ha ha :P

---

3rd day of raya

Went for my macik's open house. Another session of makan-makan,gossiping family affairs latest news update,lil cousins cheek-pinching, etc etc - everything was okie except for the sudden downfall. Rosak kasut raya saya..

Went back home and later that night,we got another bunch of relatives coming over for raya.

---

The rest of my raya days consist of more visits and food until I was down with a sore throat.

I got back to KL on Wednesday which fairly marked the end of the endless good food fiesta. Now I'm back with the what am I supposed to eat for lunch/dinner dilemma. *sighs*

Owh,did I tell you that I got an interview this Monday? No?Okie I'm telling you now.Well,it's not like I'm not happy with the current company - I just wanna keep my options open.So we'll just wait and see.Teehee..

Going to bully C*** this weekend.Wowee.. :D

I'm off. Tata.