of.random thoughts (again).&.me.

I just watched a video posted on FB - of a baby/toddler being force fed - it made me sick to my stomach.

Rasa macam nak tampaq the maid/helper laju-laju - I reckon it's not the mom, mak jenis apa kalau dok bagi makan anak macam tu? Tu bukan mak,tu raksaksa.  What if the little girl chokes? Oih, panas mata and hati ni tengok.

If it were my kid, I'd tear her limb from limb. Sick sick world we live in.

On a lighter note, the parents are going back to Kedah this weekend - after 2 months. Dad is doing well, Alhamdulillah. He's capable of walking on his own these days, with a cane of course - tho I reckon it gonna take a while before he's back to his old self, what with the talking and all that.

I'm going to miss seeing them everyday. Going to their place after work has been our routines for the past 2 months - in fact Myra has been so used to it that she'd cry if we do not make the trip to 'rumah tok hotel'.

Again, I wish that Kedah is not 4 hours drive away. A girl(girl?) can wish kan?

On another lighter note, we're yet to look for Myra's new shoes for her annual concert this weekend. A new cute shoes and a pair of white tights to compliment her Elsa dress.(Yeah, Frozen fever is still here.) Owh, she probably need a cute little crown headband too. Omak kau pulak yang lebih nak. 

My rock chic little girl gonna be all girlish, prim and proper for a change. Truth is, I'm not too big on super girlish dresses and whatnot, not that I'm turning my girl into a tomboy but ya know, fancy dresses in a country like ours = sticky mess. I'd like my girl to be able to run and jump and do whatever she pleases (within acceptable limit of course), after all she's just a kid.  

Tak payah la nak duduk keras macam mannequin dengan kaki bersilang segala. I used to be an adventurous kid myself, panjat pokok(yup, I used to be able to climb, seeing me now, rasa macam impossibru! ), masuk longkang tangkap berudu, ulat gonggok, lizard, big fat green caterpillars(which scares the living daylight out of me these days) and I ended up just fine tho of course, I'm not as fearless as I was before. Ulat? No thank you.

So yea, more cute tops with jeans/pants/legging and practical summer dresses please.

Haih, I'm really going to miss seeing my parents everyday.

It's time to plan for a trip back up North yes?

of.local zoo.&.me.

Ever since our last trip to the zoo (Melaka) weeks ago - I didn't write much about it since it's not a good one, but don't mind me, go ahead and enjoy your trip - especially if you like rusa/deer. Rusa titik, rusa belang, rusa putih, rusa hitam. All sort of rusa. I wondered whether we're actually in a zoo or a deer farm. Must be pretty easy to rear them ey? They are edible too right? he he.

I disgress.

Anyway, Myra has been wanting to drag us for another zoo trip and it's yet to be materialized tho zoo negara is just like 10 minutes away from our place - depending on the MRR2 traffic of course.

The last time we went to the zoo (negara) was probably more than a year ago, when she was around 2y/o. Honestly, I love animals to bits. Seeing them, especially those cute and cuddly ones are pretty awesome, but, yeah there's a but, the animals in (most of) our local zoo(s) adelah menyedihkan and at some point, the zoo seems to be ill-managed (don't get me started on the semak samun and all that, owh the zoo adelah infested with tonnes of mosquitoes too).

I don't know whether the local zoo cannot cope financially or anything along that line or it's just purely due to bad management - that leads to unending pathetic-ness of our zoo(s).

Yea, I'm not sure how much is the entrance fee these days, but I reckon it's around MYR30? (Used to buy those tickets for less from Groupon) MYR30 is good money for a cheapskate like me. I could get me 3 power size juice from Juiceworks or a quart of Baskin Robin's ice cream on the 31st! he he. :P

So yea, we'll find somewhere kids-friendly to go next, a petting zoo perhaps?

Myra : "Mummy, nanti daddy balik work, pegi zoo eh?"
Me : "Okay, kakak nak tengok ape? Lion?"
Myra : "Aha, lion. Elephant."
Me : "Giraffe?"
Myra : "Giraffe and baby giraffe and flamingo."
Me : "Cow?"
Myra : "Cow, leopard, pastu bird."
Me : "Kancil? Rhinoceros?"
Myra: "Rhinoceros. Turtle. Hippopotamus."
Me : "Tiger?"
Myra : "Tiger and monkey. "
Me: "Semut?"
Myra : "Mummy ni, semut kat rumah dia, bukan dekat zoo." *laughs her head off at me*
Me : "Okaaay kakak, pig?"
Myra : "Pig tanak, nak tengok peppa pig jer" *makes oink2 sound"
Me : T_____T "Okay."


A quick update on the kids.

At 3 years and 7 months old. Myra being Myra is as witty as ever. The moment she got into the car when I picked her up at school, she'd go

 "Mummy, today kita beli barang? Shopping?"


"Mummy, today tak raining. Boleh kan makan ice cream?"

Yea, she apparently loves ice cream and *clear throat* shopping. I wonder where she got it from.

She doesn't mind helping around the house but when you asked her to fetch something for the 3rd time in a row, she'd probably go "Nak aper lagiiii?" he he. Your mummy is pretty annoying, just like that.

These days, she like to have her own say when it comes to clothing. Most often than not, she'll decide on what to wear to school, jalan-jalan during the weekend, owh ya, baju tido included - so yea, if you see us out and about, with her dressed funnily, yea, you get the idea, sometimes I give in to avoid drama. :P

Still in her fussy-eater phase. My creativity (or the lack of it) is at full swing. Sometimes she'd settle with simple no brainer food (e.g. plain pasta tossed in garlic olive oil, fried rice with egg) sometimes she doesn't, even my fancy ayam goreng pandan didn't work. Sob.

She loves her baby brother, tho she's still having some sharing issues. What's yours is mine, what's mine is mine. Fullstop.

Adik (he turned 7mth 2 days ago) on the other hand, is crawling at full speed. He can even stand when supported. He also started to sit a week ago. It's a big no no to leave him alone unsupervised, once minute he's on the playmat, the next second he's already under the dining table, doing God knows what. T_T

Just like his sister, he's also a morning person, so yea, no sleeping in for mummy. Bohooo.

Just like his sister, he loves bath times. Yea, 2 water babies at home.

He adores his sister, nobody can make him laugh like she can (padahal kakak dok sebut, adikk..adik je, tu pon gelak mengekek, i is no understand), tho honestly, I think we (the parents) are funnier. :P

A month into solid food and he's currently on sweet potatoes, pumpkin, carrot, apple, pear, banana, butternut squash and brown rice porridge - all organic and home made.

Yea, selagi mak tengah semangat ni, let me be.

Anyway, I'm yet to introduce any protein in his diet, so yea, no fish or chicken yet. Probably in another week or two.

I'm slowly starting to build up his EBM stash again, tho I still have another 3 drawers-full of em. Must be prepared for the upcoming work trip. I don't know who gonna cry harder when the time comes, me or the baby? *cries*

Mummy love you babies. <3 comment-3--="">

of.hands on.&.me.

Since the arrival of the little highness, most often that not, Myra would pester the other half for her bottle of milk, for the endless trips to the loo, for her long showers, the pat on the bontot before bedtime and whatnot - whenever he's around.

Which is quite a relief since I don't have to run around like a headless chicken, juggling between a demanding attention-crave toddler and a baby.

If I were to be honest, I'm thankful for the other half for being a hands-on daddy. I couldn't imagine it otherwise.

The other day when we were at the parents' place, C*** was helping out with Myra (whilst I sat on the couch, err..watching tv, I woke up early, made breakfast, cooked and whatnot, gimme a break ) when my aunt commented on how cekap and natural he is in handling the kids, she even told us that her husband didn't even know how to make her kids' milk when they were younger.

I went ahead and said that I made C*** filled up a form on what he's willing and not willing to do after marriage before marrying him, tu pasai la cheq dapat a practical husband and not a romantic one to begin with. ha ha. I didn't get a yes on the 'Are you romantic?' question. I wish. :P

Anyway, that coming from someone of the older generation is pretty normal, no? I guess there used to be a fine line between what mothers and father should and shouldn't do those days. Everything about the kids, especially the messy stuff, harus lah mak yang buat. - Berak? Mak. Mandi? Mak. Bagi susu? Mak. Tengok tv goyang kaki? Ayah. - since the father brought food to the table. Which is no longer the case these days, both of us strive for our family so I couldn't see why a father should be exempted from taking care of the kids.

Nak anak banyak-banyak, tapi tanak jaga, banyak cantik?

Not saying that those who shy away from the messy stuff are only half as good as the hands-on fathers. Love is a many splendored thing, yes? It comes in unexpected shapes and form.

I just detest the totally ignorance ones.

My other half is probably not the most idyllic father in the universe either, he's alright but his efforts to be useful in the kids department count and that's all that matters.

Here's to many more practical fathers to come. ;)

of.a week off.&.me.

First day of work after more than a week-long break from work is...pretty sucky - to add salt to the wound, the traffic this morning was pretty hellish.

So yea, what a way to start a new week after days of lazing around with my loved ones. Besides going back to Malacca for raya haji and in between house chores, a visit to the dentist, shopping spree and whatnot, we managed to squeeze in a short-getaway last week.

Nothing fancy but pretty relaxing nevertheless - except for the long drive through the long and winding road. Please be a dear and remind me not to go anywhere near a highland for my getaway next time. Please remind me that my motion-sickness is yet to be cured (if that's even possible).

Haih,I'm feeling pretty dizzy just by thinking of it.

Jalan bengkang-bengkok = I is muntah. Well, almost.

Don't mind me, I'm deliriously happy but I'm just being my usual whiny-self. :P

I should thank C*** for going with my flow, for agreeing to everything that I asked for the entire week. When the mummy is happy, everyone is happy. Thank you darling, this mum is very happy. :x

Okay sila muntah.

Meanwhile, I'm missing the babies.

Have a great week.

of.price hike.&.me.

Yea, another petrol price hike - whilst most people went out to fill up their tanks and ended up queuing for God-knows-how-long (whilst wasting the precious fuel), I decided to forgo the hype and stayed in bed with the kids instead.

Tak berbaloi chek nak bersusah payah just to save a few bucks. Not like if I were to fill up the tank to the brim last night, minyak tu tahan sampai tahun depan. You know what I mean?

Well, I'm still 6 months away from my next salary increment but some of the stuff that I have to pay for already increased tenfold, the house maintenance fee, the parking rent (yea, even the pakcik who rented out the parking bay to us demanded extra bucks on top of the usual fees - sebab maintenance fee dah naik katanya, domino effect disitu) etc  - which equals to the reduction of the amount of my monthly saving which is currently 25%  of my salary.

Yea, I'm trying to save as much as I can these days tho I'm yet to be a cheapskate when it comes to hmpp..food. :P

Haih, what a programmer cabuk to do?

of.a much needed break.&.me.

I wish that I have more than 24 hours in a day.

Getting back from work around 6.30pm - 7pm (depending on the traffic) and trying to squeeze in grocery shopping, ironing, sterilizing storage bottles and the pump parts, cooking, sorting out Myra's school bag and SM's ebm and a quick visit to the parents place etc - all within the short hours before bedtime is pretty tiring.

That my friend, is the sole reason for my pre-hypertension blood pressure. Like yea, I'm never the one with the blood pressure issues. I didn't even have em during both of my pregnancies and to be having em now adelah somewhat mind-blowing and (I hafta admit) frightening.

Probably a reminder for me to slow down a little.

No. I'm not complaining. I have to do what I have to do. I'll do whatever needed of me until I cannot do it no more. I'm simply stating the facts which brought me to my 2nd point.

I need a break.

I need to unwind for a bit. I need to go somewhere where I don't need to think about work, at all and little of anything else for sometime. (Sometime in my book adelah a day, or maybe two. I couldn't afford it to be any longer than that - ada bermacam-macam jenis constraints you see?)

We are so going somewhere during our upcoming a-week-long break, even if I need to drag C***. Not that he needs any dragging ( and not like I'm capable of dragging him anywhere, he's like 20kg heavier), I'm just saying.

I've been giving out hints, heck, more like telling him straight to the face that I need a quick getaway and he seems to be fine with it.

On a lighter note, I need a shopping spree.

Probably a pot of sugar scrub will do me good or a new pair of Fitflop (tho C*** might kill me if I were to buy my 8th pair. he he.)

Owh, and a freshly made Belgian waffle with gelato for tea will be nice.

And maybe, just maybe another stick of eyeliner for backup, you know, just in case I lost those eyeliners at home.

And a new stroller, yea, a new light stroller which is no longer essential in my list, but I want it anyway if I could only find the one that fits the bill.

That's about it. Happy weekend.


Myra :"Mummy, mummy sayang tak Myra ni?" 
Me : "Sayang la, mummy sayang kakak."
Myra :"Sayang banyak ke sikit?"
Me :" Sayang banyak la."
Myra: "Mummy sayang banyak kan? Buat apa nak sikit."
Me : T__T

I wonder if she has doubts about my love for her these days. Yer lah, asyik mendatangkan kemarahan and kena marah (for the obvious reasons) je kejenya.

She's still my intan payung and all that, dealing with her only gets a wee bit more challenging - now that she talks like 24/7. Wherever, whenever. I seldom have time for my own train of thoughts anymore. Ade je la soalan and her endless chatters. he he.

After  6 months of exclusive bf, SM has been introduced to solids. Since we were busy rushing here and there during the weekend. His 1st solid adelah the organic pisang emas.Will try to prepare his brown rice home-made cereal tonight.

On a lighter note, my bf journey is pretty breezy so far.  Alhamdulillah. Probably due to the fact that I still have a deep freezer full of milk stash. My daily production is around 20oz daily, not much but I'm not fretting over it. Gone are the days of my endless meroyan-ness - fretting over this and that. You'll get what you need, yes?

I'd sometimes sneak in a frozen EBM for SM whenever I feel like it since I have a batch, a full load of drawer of em expiring in October. Might as well make a full use of it, those liquid gold don't come easy. Kalau sapa cakap easy, meh nak lempang sikit manusia-manusia yang oblivious ni. ha ha.

If you ask me, my definition of exclusive nursing is 70% efforts and 30% rezeki. Like seriously, rezeki is rezeki, tapi rezeki harus dicari, no? Ingat goyang kaki, dapat rezeki? You can't simply do nothing but whine about your low supplies. One of my biggest pet peeves adelah manusia-manusia yang couldn't be bothered to try. If you tried and failed, at least you've tried. Ni cuba pon tidak, tapi complaint sekodi. 


Everything is possible if you put your mind to it.

I still have nothing against FM mothers. All of us want nothing but the best for our kids, yes? Cara jer berbeza, the end result, tetap sama. I just happen to love the ability to nurse. The ability to soothe a growling little tummy. To comfort. To watch them growing up healthy whilst knowing that I'm a big part of it.

I'm not going to lie. At times, the midnight nursing wears me out. My back aches. I sometimes wish for an uninterrupted sleep especially after a long tiring day at work - but this is something that I have to do. Something that I want to do, so I'd just suck it all up and move on. I'm a human after all. he he.

Anyway, will need to start stocking up on frozen EBM again starting this weekend, else my existing stash just gonna last until January, I have tonnes of catching up to do. Now that I passed the 6 months journey, I'm all psyched up for the next phase.


of.quick (random) update.&.me.

I got a few minutes left to spare, so let's be random for a bit.

SM had his first, terjun tiruk jatuh katil this morning. Either I slept like a log or he quietly crawled around (sampai terjatuh) is a mystery to me - as I'd usually wake up as soon as he goes "ek ek". He seems fine when I left him for work, just gonna keep an eye on him for the next 24 hours. Owh he's 6 month today. Kenapa la nak jatuh katil nak? *cries*

I turned 21 (+9) years young 2 days ago. Bye bye twenties, hello big 3 0. The celebration was pretty much nothing. ha ha. Kesedihan. The timing wasn't right so I'm not pushing it. C*** owes me a birthday treat and probably 4 years worth of birthday gift. But I had a yummo birthday treat in a form of a boxful of Victoria Sandwich cakes, so getting old whilst eating a cake is ain't that bad. I should be thankful for everything that I have and stop whining. Period.

I wanna go somewhere for a short getaway sooo bad. Anywhere will do. Doesn't matter if it's somewhere 2 hours away. It will do me good. My stress-induced high bp need to be remedied.

Yet to prepare anything for SM's first solid food, did I tell you he's 6 month today? 2nd child syndrome sungguh. Already bought a new mini food processor months ago. A bunch of cute storage pots for the food. A cool looking silicone spoon (but I think that I've lost it). Yea, that's about it. I don't know what happening to me. No feeding bowl. No cute bib. Owh yea, no organic food either. Bohooo.Will get my hands on em this weekend. Promise. We'll start with plain rice porridge and milk!

Okay dah, nak balik.


The little one was down with fever on Monday, the 1st time ever in his almost-6-mth life. Owh boy, he's super cranky and clingy. Once I'm home, he'd stick to me like a baby koala - not that I'm complaining, I'm a clingy mum myself.

He hates the medicine, probably because he's yet to start on solids and the only thing he is familiar with is mum's milk. I'm feeling miserable just by looking at him looking miserable.

On a lighter note, took him to see the doc on Monday. The moment I stepped into the doc's office, the lady doc commented on how small I am, like "Owh,kecik jer mak dia". Kecik as in kurus? Small? Child-like? I've been perceived as normal, chubby(thanks to my high cheekbones) etc  - but kecik is rarely one of em (unless you're comparing me with a dinosaur) because I'm not a small person to begin with. Kecik? Like seriously? Where are you from doc? I wanna live in your city. he he.

Please don't mind me, I'm just trying to flatter myself, the hard work of BF works wonders on me this time around. I'm currently 3kg away from my pre-marriage weight, 10kg lighter than my recent pre-pregnancy weight (gained 6kg during pregnancy and lost 16kg.) - probably the lightest that I've been in the past 4 years and I hope it gonna stay that way until the next bub (which is probably in the next 2-3 years). :P

On another lighter note, dad is making an awesome progress. Yup, the parents are still here, another week or so more to go - tho it could be further extended depending on the physiotherapist's evaluation. I'm loving the fact that I get to see them everyday these days. We've been going to the apartment at the Embassy row daily to keep them company - tho most of the time, the suite is pretty meriah with visitors, especially during the weekends.

Owh, I love the working kitchen as I gets to lug all the food stuff and turn em into something fun. I made em apple pie and beef mushroom pie last weekend. This weekend, belum tau. I should probably walk over to Hock Choon supermarket (which is just across the road) this weekend - for ya know, inspirations. :P

I digress, back to dad, besides his daily physiotherapy, he  even had 3 sessions of acupuncture during the weekend. I should probably take a photo of him with the needles and all that (acupuncture is not for the faint of heart, the needles adelah scary), for memory's sake. Ya know, a token of remembrance of everything that he had to endure to get back to his feet again.


I'm sick of people asking if it's too late to do something.

Like seriously, if you want to do something real bad, you wouldn't wait until it's too late isn't it?

What if it's too late? Are you gonna crawl into a corner and die? Geez, please do.

I'm sick of people asking for forgiveness for the sake of asking.

Like yea, let's just pretend that I'm really sorry just to save my ass, then I'll just be extra careful not to be caught again next time. Yea, good for you.

I'm sick of having to repeat myself again and again, for having to point out the obvious.

Tapi...tak jugak paham-paham. It's like being angry at the neighbors for dumping their waste right in front of your gate and they innocently went "Eh..kenapa nak marah-marah ni?"

Bolehkah anda lihat tahap ke-bengap-an disitu?

I'm sick of people taking others for granted.

It's so easy to walk all over someone who is nice to you kan? When a neighbor is nice to you, you'll go.."Well, I'm a nice neighbor myself",self-righteousness at its best.

When your loved one is nice to you, you think that it's your right to be treated nicely. You think that it's your right to be respected and loved tho most of the time buat perangai macam nak mintak lempang.

Do you know that like trust and respect, love hafta be earned and not merely gifted - cause love comes slow and it goes so fast (bak kata Passenger), like so very fast. 

I sound like a woman with depression, don't I?  he he.

of.work trip.&.me.

The boss has been giving me the are-you-ready-for-Bangkok-project talk again.

The long overdue project.

The last time he did was probably 2 months ago, so I thought that it won't be materialized any time soon since they are yet to come with the exact timeline except for the go-live date - which is sometime in January 2015.

Yesterday, whilst we're waiting for the elevator together, he went "Okay kan?" and I went "No"(yea, I'm pretty blunt like that) which he quickly replied with "Well, you still have to.". Urgh, like why do you even bother to ask if it's pretty clear that I don't have a choice?


Now I'm wondering whether I should be dragging the whole family together with me if the 1st trip is anytime soon.(Yea, there are like 4-5 trips altogether.) Can't imagine how C*** gonna be able to handle the little SM at night.  He still wakes up once or twice to nurse.

I'm feeling pretty miserable just by thinking about it, like seriously - so God help me.


I'm frustrated.

Having to keep a straight face when you are being taken for granted annoys the hell outta me.

Trust is a big word for me and it has been violated for numerous times.

Some people just don't take me seriously. Just because I decided to keep mum and stay calm, it doesn't mean that they can walk all over me, as if my feeling doesn't count.

True, I'm yet to do anything 'drastic'.

True, I'd usually move on and leave things as it is, hoping that the ample time given will give them the much needed space to fix whatever issues that they are facing. For them to put a stop and fix their wrongdoings.

True, that it's pretty childish to hope that everything is all fine and dandy through mere words.

But I'm not naive (like who are you kidding? I'm turning 30 in less than a month).

I don't do dumb reasoning and I expect for nothing less.

It's getting pretty tiring to not lose my composure and there's only so much that I can do (& take).

So much of walk the talk.


I've been procrastinating long enough, so yeah, a wee bit about the kids

On Myra

She's my 39 month old little mak nenek. She can talk (& nag) your ears off. If she caught me playing with her beautifully combed hair, she'll go "Apa ni mummy, play dengan rambut kakak, nanti tak cantik nanti." T_T

She's still as loud as ever. She loves to sing her nursery rhymes or even recite her doas as loud as possible, whenever and wherever she wants. Hatta when her little brother is sleeping sekalipon, much to our..hmm..amusement? Marah nanti merajuk, tak marah nanti adik bangun - so her usual fav ayat is "Apa ni mummy/daddy, sikit-sikit marah, sikit-sikit marah". Haih la anak.

She's really helpful when she wants to, like only yesterday, we were in Malacca and I was packing up as we're leaving for KL after berbuka. MIL gave her a huge plastic bag to hand over to me, so that I could stuff our dirty laundry in it, but instead of handing it over, she sat down next to me and started to stuff all the laundry into the bag herself. I didn't even ask her to do it. Terharu sungguh mak. My little one, all grown up. Sob.

She's losing her baby fat, probably due to school, yer lah, you can't expect that everything that are being served at school, menepati piawaian anak tekak, she could be really fussy when it comes to food sometimes - so whenever she's back from school, I'll try to beef her up, as much as possible with rice, pasta, yogurt - whatever her heart desires, almond biscotti and congo bars included.

She's getting pretty bad in the drama queen department. She could be all happy, bright eyed one second and all teary and screaming a split second later. All the little brother business, having to share the formerly undivided attention is probably taking its toll. Haih, whenever it happens, I'll try to refrain myself from lashing it all out on her and to remind  myself that she's still a baby herself, adjusting takes time.

She's also starting to be quite selective when it comes to clothes at times. When we decided to go out for a bit after berbuka 2 days ago, she insisted to be properly dressed with her 'baju jalan-jalan' instead of the pjs.

She knows the ABC like the back of her hands, you can even play the 'A if for...B is for' game with her. I'd usually do that whilst we're on our way to school. No, I'm still not a kiasu mummy in that sense. I just do it for fun, it's pretty amusing that she could come up with 'W is for worm' today and 'W is for water' tomorrow.  She obviously cannot read yet, but she could tell me the leading alphabet for every word by just the sound of it - kalau cakap "D is for apple!" she'll gimme the you-must-be-kidding-me-mummy look and goes "No mummy..D is for donkey".

On Shariq.

He's one happy baby - he loves smiling and giggling so much that he even smiled when he woke up for milk at 4am. Mak dia jer yang too tired and too sleepy to smile.

He just started to roll over from his back to his front so he need to be supervised like 24/7. Pantang letak je pusing, letak je pusing, the only way to stop him from rolling over is to sandwich him in between 2 little pillows or to put him on the rocker, tu pon gigih la dia nak pusing.

When it comes to bottle feeding, he seems to hate em just like his sister did when she was younger. On the 1st day that I started working, he only drank like 6oz throughout the day (so much so that he only gained 500g during my 1st working month - he gained 2kg previously, diet much?).

He'd cry himself to sleep sometimes these days but he's slowly progressing in the bottle feeding department. I have a freezer full of EBM yet to be used as I'd just give him 20oz of chilled EBM everyday. Takot pulak nak bagi frozen EBM in case he's sensitive to the taste and decides to reject bottle feeding altogether. Haih.

Besides the hassles when it comes to bottle feeding, he's an easy baby. He doesn't mind the stroller, he could even sleep innit provided that he's well fed. At night, he doesn't need to be rocked to sleep like her sister did. I just need to nurse him to slumber land and if he got up (not for milk), we just need to pat him back to sleep, easy peasy. Oleh itu I'm not complaining about any sort of backache these days, Alhamdulillah.

At 4month old, he already outgrew most of his 0-6 months outfits, I'm too sexy for my little clothes nampaknya, membesar bagaikan juara. No, I'm not complaining. I'm all for clothes shopping untuk anak-anak. The joy of parenthood, I get to shop for miniature people. ;)

That's all for now, I guess. Both of them adore each other and nothing else matters. Will try to have a regular update on their milestones for memory's sake.Mummy love you kiddos. So very much.

of.4 years.&.me.

We turned 4 last month, on June 25th. Alhamdulillah.

Yea, 4 years of being tied to each other, for better or worst.

I couldn't remember when's the last time we went out for a proper date, probably sometime during the pre-babies years.These days we'd usually need to sneak out if we want to be out alone.

So yea, both of us decided to take the day off from work to celebrate. I've told C*** that even if he decided to work on our anniversary, I'm going out to celebrate on my own anyway. Yer, ayat reverse psychology itu perlu, especially when dealing with my other half - he's the one with 0% romantic bone. Kalau setakat hint-hint di angin lalu, harap maaf. Gue ngak ngerti. :P

Absolutely one of the least likeable attributes when it comes to him, but absolutely something that I have to learn to live with. That's what marriage is all about, no? Romance is overrated (cakap macam dah 40 tahun kawen,padahal?). Dah tua-tua ni, I'm trying not to meroyan too much unless there's a valid reason for it.

On that day, after dropping Myra off at school, we went to the Curve and decided to catch a movie for a start. Our 1st movie in 4 years! - as we'd usually watch em at home these days. Very the pacik and macik like that. (We watched Maleficient by the way, it was terrific, Sleeping Beauty with a twist -  but I'm probably bias - as I'm always a fan of Disney movies.)

We later had our morning tea break at IKEA. Cakes and coffees. I even got to stock up on my usual scented candles. Not the best out there, but will do lah, can't be bothered to invest on a bunch of fancy candles which are just gonna be burned off later. Essential oils is a different story altogether, but with kids at home, lighting oil burner screams hazard which is why I'd usually go for Fabreeze, you get to disinfect the fabrics and the place is somewhat deodorized too. he he.

I digress. Sungguh la mak-mak (dan cheapskate) sekarang.

Moving on, after our tea break and a wee bit of window shopping (promised C*** that shopping won't be included in our anniversary day itinerary T_T ), we went for our late sushi lunch. The food was mediocre. I didn't even feel like ordering my all time favourite unagi. Seems like we have to hunt for something better after EID.

We wrapped up the day with BR ice cream sundae (& we even got a generous discount, probably to compensate their blurriness, nak buat sundae pon kena tgk illustrated picture segala T_T) before heading back home. Yes, balik awai to avoid the bad traffic, it's a working day after all and we need to pick up the little princess from school.

If you ask me, I'd say a couple needs to go out on an occasional date every now and then, you know, to keep the excitement going. he he. The carelessly walking hand in hand whilst roaming the mall adelah fun (kalau Malaysia ni sejuk, I'd drag C*** to a park instead :P ). It's pretty relaxing, especially when you don't have to keep on chasing after a running toddler or soothing a crying baby or worrying about where's the nearest nursing room in case someone's hungry or need a nappy change - the normal parents' dilemma.

We're parents (and we love it) but we're a couple first. Happy 4 years love, I'm looking forward to many more years to come.


I have tonnes of stuff in my head that deserves to be written out, to serve as a readable memory when I'm old and wrinkly.

I was waiting for my writing mojo to return, which probably not soon enough.

Anyway, I shall write about my dad today, about the trial that he's facing right now.

About a month ago, he had stroke which left him with hemiplegia - on the right side of his body.

If you ask me, I'd say that the news hit me like a dream, it still feels like a dream.

My dad was as healthy as any 60 years old man can be. He's an occasional jet setter with an active lifestyle, he even worked out at home. None of those typical high blood pressure & diabetes either - except for the fact that he's a smoker. (Sure, the stroke may happen due to a lot of other factors - high cholesterol level,lifestyle yada yada - but when you smoke, the risk for stroke is doubled.)

It is an addiction that I wish he didn't have, an addiction that I wish would come to a permanent stop for my loved ones (I won't go into details about who is who over here, but I bet you know who you are if you're reading this, if ever)  - especially those that are still in denial of the bad effects of smoking - like yea, if they are sick, it's not from the smoking ya know? It's must be due to some 'other' thing besides smoking. Smoking is after all, 'safe'. Talking about denial. T_T

Well, if there's something that I've learned from living with a smoker for the past 29 years of my life - is that no matter what you say or do, you'll never win. They need to experience it for themselves to learn their hard lessons.

No amount of preaching, lecturing, documentaries, awful pictures of smoking related diseases on ciggie box or horrid news will do. After all, jadi kat orang lain kan? Nothing to do with me, saya sihat walafiat, what can go wrong kan?

No,I'm not wishing for the worst to make them come to their senses. I wish there's an easy way to make them learn - like waking up one day to realize that smoking is bad for you and people around you. I truly do.

After all, smoking is something that you choose to do, not like how you can't choose your blood type, the color of your skin or ethnic that you're born with.

Okay, too much rambling about smoking. I could get a wee bit emotional like that.

Back to dad, after about 3 weeks at the hospital, we finally brought him back home a few days before Ramadan started. He's still in his rehabilitation phase right now. He's progressing. I wish for nothing but his speedy recovery and for to him to be able to be his normal self again, I miss his nagging (& I wish that I'm not living 4 hours away, I need a pintu suka hati).

I'd like to write more, but the thought of it is somewhat suffocating.

Stay strong Ayah, you know we love you.

Allahumma yassir wa laa tu`asir 

of.2nd birth story.&.me.

Well, hello there. Yea, I'm still pretty much alive and kicking.

Sorry for the long hiatus stalkers, lots of stuff happened in the past 3 months.

Let's start with the story of the newest addition of the family.

On March 18th, we were blessed with a healthy baby boy. Alhamdulillah.

Yea, I'm going to ramble a bit on the birth story. This little boy of ours, unlike his sister, refused to come out as early as his sister did. He decided to stay put and came out like 2 days before the EDD (and that is after a false alarm drama a week earlier).

So yea, it goes without saying that I got myself a week long MC to wait for little highness arrival. After a week long of contractions here and there, I finally started to feel really uneasy at 4.30am of March 18th - so much so that I couldn't sleep. I got up, had a shower (I already had a bloody show by then), stuffed myself with toast(it felt like kertas pasir mind you, tapi telan saje lah, God knows when my next meal gonna be) and waited for C*** to get up for work (which is sometime after 6am).

When the other half finally got up, I think he could already tell bout what's coming (it's our 2nd baby after all), what with finding me in the kitchen with toast in my hand at that hour in the morning, mimpi ape dok makan roti pagi2 kan? I'm not a breakfast person to begin with.

Since MIL was already in Mekah for her umrah by then, we decided to send Myra to her playschool for the day (not like we have any other choice pon) - dengan harapan when it's time to pick her up from school, the baby's already out of my tummy.

So yea, we dropped the little one off at playshool and we rushed to APSH which is just 10 minutes drive away from home. We got there pretty early, the doc was still not in and I refused to get myself into the labour suite just yet, I mean, the last time that I thought that I'm going to beranak, I was only 1cm dilated. Too much drama. T_T

So might as well wait for the doc for a proper assessment before deciding on what to do next. Whilst waiting, I forced C*** to grab something for breakfast, he even bought me a sandwich, which I ate mechanically and failed to finish (that is when I know that the labour was for real, sebab dah tak lalu makan). Fast forward few hours later, we got to see the doc and whaddaya know? I was already 5-6cm dilated. Ya, it was unbelivable because I was in pain but it was nothing unbearable (yet) at that point.

By 11am, I walked myself to the labour suite and got hooked up to the IV after the usual empty-your-bladder-and-tummy procedures. Yea, I got a drip to boost the speed of the progress which equals to double dose of  I-want-to-kick-everyone-in-the-face pain. It was so painful that there's no word to explain. Owh, C*** was there throughout the whole thing, he was his usual cool and composed-self, peppering kisses on my head, he even cracked jokes that for once, failed to amuse me, like oih mak sakit nak beranak ni, lagi nak buat lawaaakk, tampar kang. :P

So after 3 long hours later, the midwife came to offer me a painkiller, I must have looked so miserable, I did nothing but closed my eyes whilst reciting doa Nabi Yunus in an endless loop in my head - what with annoying CTG thingy strapped onto my tummy and the lady next door screaming bloody murder as if......isi tempat kosong.... T_T

She decided to do a quick VE before giving me the drug, which was when she found out that there's no more time for that, I was too far along, more like 'Owh sekejap lagi dah nak boleh push ni'. Great. Lain kali tanya la siap-siap tahun lepas ke?

Everything else felt like some sort of liquid blurry moment from then on, I remember that I felt the urge to push and the midwife simply replied "Sedut gas, sedut gas", like seriously, the gas did nothing for me, no I'm-on-cloud-9 feeling or the sort, nada. The next thing I know, the doc was already there, all ready for the baby which came out 2 pushes later.

Yes, it was a quick labour, for that, I'm eternally grateful, Alhamdulillah.

Baby SM was born at 2.56pm and at 3.57kg, he's surely a big baby compared to his sister. Honestly we didn't expect him to be that big, his birth weight was expected to be  more or less 3kg.

Everything was pretty dandy from there tho I lose quite a lot of blood during the delivery (me & my endless low hb during pregnancy issue) and I still detest the stiching part of the whole delivery. Moi parents and little brother even came over for a visit on that day :') but they had to get back to Kedah on the same day as they are busy preparing for lil brother's solemnization (which goes without saying that it's an event that I didn't get to attend, owh well). We (the 4 of us) stayed at the hospital for our 3 days 2 nights beranak-getaway. :P

When we got back home, C*** was my confinement-man. ha ha. He cooked (as per my instructions) and do all the confiment stuff for me. Thanks you love, I love you long time. :x

We got back to Kedah for my confinement few days later ( hello daily massage and tungku and goyang kaki tengok tv), only to find out that baby SM got jaundice. It was nothing serious compared to his kakak, so a week later, he's already jaundice free.

That's about it, being a mother of two is not easy, juggling between a toddler and a newborn is another phase altogether - which is something that I shall relish, honestly.

of.numero dos.update#4.&.me.

37 weeks & 5 days to date.

Nope, no baby yet and honestly, I'm hoping for him to stay in the safety of moi womb until Myra recovers from her bout of HFMD - which she got from..hmpp..school?

Yea, it was measles few weeks back and now it's the dreaded HFMD - which worsen the little one's level of clinginess - no thanks to the rashes and mouth ulcers. T_T

Talks about cobaan eh?

Besides the fact that I still have to painfully drive (and waddles) to work and the endless night trips to the loo, we're doing fine. I can still work on the house chores (minus the laundry folding obviously) and the cooking.

The next checkup is coming within 2 days and I hope that everything is dandy inside tho I'm feeling pretty miserable outside. Well, nevermind me, I'll live. InsyaAllah.

Anyway, been having the braxton hicks every now and then these days, it could get pretty intense at times and whilst it didn't hurt, it's pretty unnerving (mak takot nak). There's also this weird feeling like someone is scratching you from the inside - which despite the fact that it's my 2nd pregnancy is an odd sensation.

On a lighter note, I've managed to pack the hospital bags for us last week.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go.

Or maybe not.

 Allahumma yassir wa laa tu`asir

of.32 & 33 months.&.me.

Now that I'm pretty free at work, let's catch up with the little's one milestones,

shall we?

She's currently in her independent phase. She prefers to do (most) of everything on her own - and even when she fails (or too lazy) to do so, she'd go "Okay, mummy/daddy tolong/ajar/help", the keyword here is tolong/ajar/help. Like when she couldn't take off her skinny jeans because it's pretty snug, instead of saying "Okay, come here mummy buat", you are better off with "Okay, come here mummy tolong/ajar" and you better wait for her permission "Okay, mummy/daddy tolong/ajar" else she'll cry her lungs out, saying "Myra buat, Myra buat" sejuta kali. T_T

She's pretty helpful these days. You could count on her to pick up on her bottles or to dump the dirty laundry into the laundry basket or to pick up on her mess/toys (sometimes). She even took the liberty to remind me to go to the loo before bedtime (considering that the toilet is my best friend now), "Mummy, dah wee-wee belum?" as I climbed into bed next to her. T_T

She loves my makeup tho I don't wear much to begin with. She's particularly into lipsticks, lip gloss, lip tint, lip balm - she's probably enticed by the colorful tubes, so I'd always try keep one of those organic lip balm handy especially for her. Asalkan boleh pakai, it's not like she knows that it's colorless. he he. Tho sometimes I relented when she insisted on wearing the one that I just put on just to avoid the drama, calit sikit pon jadi lah - for the record, I do not condone the act of putting makeup on little kids, it's just so wrong. I probably should put on my makeup when she's not watching. *shakes head*

Now that she knows how to recite the doa makan, she'd recite them before meals and sometimes in between. Dah makan half way pon tiba-tiba baca doa lagi - much to our amusement. Asalkan bahagia lah nak. 

She's already an expert when it comes to alphabets, tho the small letters still confuse her for a bit - not like I mind, she's still a baby. Besides the alphabets, numbers and colors - her latest discovery is the shapes. She knows the usual ones - circle, square, triangle, oval, star etc - which she picked up at school.

I'm not sure whether we've been preparing her enough for the new baby, but these days, whenever she sees me sorting the baby clothes and stuff, she'd either go "Ni Myra punya!" or "Ni baby punya!" depending on her mood. Sometimes I'll go "Nanti baby dah out from mummy's tummy, baby nak pinjam boleh?" and she'd nod her head "Boleh".

She loves chocolates. Chocolate biscuits/cookies. Bread with chocolate spread/nutella. Chocolate milk/ milo. Chocolate ice cream. Chocolate brownies. Dark chocolate bars. Chocolate anything. She's not into sweets tho, she's pretty awkward when it comes to hard candies, probably because it can't be chewed. I'd usually give her a dose of chocolate every now and then, if she asks for more, I'll just remind her that too much chocolate = gigi yellow. Works like a charm every time.

She's still my little drama queen, even more so these days. Last night she cried her eyes out just because I refused to give in to something, the truth is, I was dead tired. All I wanna do was to get her to bed because it was already an hour after her usual bedtime and honestly I was feeling pretty dizzy myself so I couldn't get myself to decode her request which came out as "Nak color,nak color", nak color apa lagi malam-malam ni nakkk..tidoq please. So yea, I was in bed and she stood at the end of the bed crying, after a good few minutes she suddenly stopped and went "Mummy,mummy, tengok ni, hingus! Nak lap." I couldn't help but laugh when she finally climbed into bed next to me and fell asleep like few minutes later.

Haih, I love you cekodok, so very much.

of.numero dos.update#3.&.me.

I'm already in my 35th week and I'm doing pretty bad in writing about this numero dos pregnancy.

Not like I don't want to, but I've been so busy juggling between work (previously) and on-going stuff at home that I could hardly write one those lengthy pregnancy updates anymore.

Now that I'm finally free, dah macam, hoih, 35 weeks already, what am I supposed to write again?

If I were in a race, the finish line is already in sight. Tak dan dah nak recall about everything.

Moving on, we went for our hhmmppp.. umpteenth checkup last week. I gained like less than a kg in 4 weeks. I'm doing great in the blood pressure and whatever not department and yeah, I've started to waddle like a penguin (again) - much to C***'s amusement (or is it annoyance? ha ha.) T_T

The baby's fine tho. Growing up nicely according to his gestational age. Everything is pretty dandy. Alhamdulillah.

We're due for another checkup next week, for the GBS test (yikes!) and were reminded to be prepared for the lil one's arrival (latest) by the end of February as there's a tendency for him(yes,you got male! :P) to pop as early as Myra did (which was during the end of the 37th week), so yeah, am I prepared?

No. I'm yet to check on my Medela FS and get my hands on a new sterilizer(so it goes without saying that I'm yet to sterilize anything) and finish up with the washing of a miniature mountain of little clothes and I'm not sure whether I'll be able to cope with the mummy-of-two thingy (especially the sleepless night phase) and finally, if I were to be honest, I don't want to be reminded of the pain of childbirth, just yet. :P

Fine lah, I can't recall on how it feels anymore. Like, I know that it's very very painful, tapi dah tak ingat how painful. Probably one of God's miracles -  else berapa ramai manusia yang serik after the 1st? Ehem.

On the other hand, I can't wait for the little one to arrive. I'm almost done with the preparation. Already got a tick for most of the stuff on my mummy and baby list. I'm excited about having a tiny little baby at home again. We even managed to hunt for the upright freezer last week and it's already delivered to us last Saturday( thank you love!).

Haih, fickle minded much?

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