Yup, counting the days since I'm no longer crazy.

of.quick (random) update.&.me.

I got a few minutes left to spare, so let's be random for a bit.

SM had his first, terjun tiruk jatuh katil this morning. Either I slept like a log or he quietly crawled around (sampai terjatuh) is a mystery to me - as I'd usually wake up as soon as he goes "ek ek". He seems fine when I left him for work, just gonna keep an eye on him for the next 24 hours. Owh he's 6 month today. Kenapa la nak jatuh katil nak? *cries*

I turned 21 (+9) years young 2 days ago. Bye bye twenties, hello big 3 0. The celebration was pretty much nothing. ha ha. Kesedihan. The timing wasn't right so I'm not pushing it. C*** owes me a birthday treat and probably 4 years worth of birthday gift. But I had a yummo birthday treat in a form of a boxful of Victoria Sandwich cakes, so getting old whilst eating a cake is ain't that bad. I should be thankful for everything that I have and stop whining. Period.

I wanna go somewhere for a short getaway sooo bad. Anywhere will do. Doesn't matter if it's somewhere 2 hours away. It will do me good. My stress-induced high bp need to be remedied.

Yet to prepare anything for SM's first solid food, did I tell you he's 6 month today? 2nd child syndrome sungguh. Already bought a new mini food processor months ago. A bunch of cute storage pots for the food. A cool looking silicone spoon (but I think that I've lost it). Yea, that's about it. I don't know what happening to me. No feeding bowl. No cute bib. Owh yea, no organic food either. Bohooo.Will get my hands on em this weekend. Promise. We'll start with plain rice porridge and milk!

Okay dah, nak balik.


The little one was down with fever on Monday, the 1st time ever in his almost-6-mth life. Owh boy, he's super cranky and clingy. Once I'm home, he'd stick to me like a baby koala - not that I'm complaining, I'm a clingy mum myself.

He hates the medicine, probably because he's yet to start on solids and the only thing he is familiar with is mum's milk. I'm feeling miserable just by looking at him looking miserable.

On a lighter note, took him to see the doc on Monday. The moment I stepped into the doc's office, the lady doc commented on how small I am, like "Owh,kecik jer mak dia". Kecik as in kurus? Small? Child-like? I've been perceived as normal, chubby(thanks to my high cheekbones) etc  - but kecik is rarely one of em (unless you're comparing me with a dinosaur) because I'm not a small person to begin with. Kecik? Like seriously? Where are you from doc? I wanna live in your city. he he.

Please don't mind me, I'm just trying to flatter myself, the hard work of BF works wonders on me this time around. I'm currently 3kg away from my pre-marriage weight, 10kg lighter than my recent pre-pregnancy weight (gained 6kg during pregnancy and lost 16kg.) - probably the lightest that I've been in the past 4 years and I hope it gonna stay that way until the next bub (which is probably in the next 2-3 years). :P

On another lighter note, dad is making an awesome progress. Yup, the parents are still here, another week or so more to go - tho it could be further extended depending on the physiotherapist's evaluation. I'm loving the fact that I get to see them everyday these days. We've been going to the apartment at the Embassy row daily to keep them company - tho most of the time, the suite is pretty meriah with visitors, especially during the weekends.

Owh, I love the working kitchen as I gets to lug all the food stuff and turn em into something fun. I made em apple pie and beef mushroom pie last weekend. This weekend, belum tau. I should probably walk over to Hock Coon supermarket (which is just across the road) this weekend - for ya know, inspirations. :P

I digress, back to dad, besides his daily physiotherapy, he  even had 3 sessions of acupuncture during the weekend. I should probably take a photo of him with the needles and all that (acupuncture is not for the faint of heart, the needles adelah scary), for memory's sake. Ya know, a token of remembrance of everything that he had to endure to get back to his feet again.


I'm sick of people asking if it's too late to do something.

Like seriously, if you want to do something real bad, you wouldn't wait until it's too late isn't it?

What if it's too late? Are you gonna crawl into a corner and die? Geez, please do.

I'm sick of people asking for forgiveness for the sake of asking.

Like yea, let's just pretend that I'm really sorry just to save my ass, then I'll just be extra careful not to be caught again next time. Yea, good for you.

I'm sick of having to repeat myself again and again, for having to point out the obvious.

Tapi...tak jugak paham-paham. It's like being angry at the neighbors for dumping their waste right in front of your gate and they innocently went "Eh..kenapa nak marah-marah ni?"

Bolehkah anda lihat tahap ke-bengap-an disitu?

I'm sick of people taking others for granted.

It's so easy to walk all over someone who is nice to you kan? When a neighbor is nice to you, you'll go.."Well, I'm a nice neighbor myself",self-righteousness at its best.

When your loved one is nice to you, you think that it's your right to be treated nicely. You think that it's your right to be respected and loved tho most of the time buat perangai macam nak mintak lempang.

Do you know that like trust and respect, love hafta be earned and not merely gifted - cause love comes slow and it goes so fast (bak kata Passenger), like so very fast. 

I sound like a woman with depression, don't I?  he he. trip.&.me.

The boss has been giving me the are-you-ready-for-Bangkok-project talk again.

The long overdue project.

The last time he did was probably 2 months ago, so I thought that it won't be materialized any time soon since they are yet to come with the exact timeline except for the go-live date - which is sometime in January 2015.

Yesterday, whilst we're waiting for the elevator together, he went "Okay kan?" and I went "No"(yea, I'm pretty blunt like that) which he quickly replied with "Well, you still have to.". Urgh, like why do you even bother to ask if it's pretty clear that I don't have a choice?


Now I'm wondering whether I should be dragging the whole family together with me if the 1st trip is anytime soon.(Yea, there are like 4-5 trips altogether.) Can't imagine how C*** gonna be able to handle the little SM at night.  He still wakes up once or twice to nurse.

I'm feeling pretty miserable just by thinking about it, like seriously - so God help me.


I'm frustrated.

Having to keep a straight face when you are being taken for granted annoys the hell outta me.

Trust is a big word for me and it has been violated for numerous times.

Some people just don't take me seriously. Just because I decided to keep mum and stay calm, it doesn't mean that they can walk all over me, as if my feeling doesn't count.

True, I'm yet to do anything 'drastic'.

True, I'd usually move on and leave things as it is, hoping that the ample time given will give them the much needed space to fix whatever issues that they are facing. For them to put a stop and fix their wrongdoings.

True, that it's pretty childish to hope that everything is all fine and dandy through mere words.

But I'm not naive (like who are you kidding? I'm turning 30 in less than a month).

I don't do dumb reasoning and I expect for nothing less.

It's getting pretty tiring to not lose my composure and there's only so much that I can do (& take).

So much of walk the talk.

I've been procrastinating long enough, so yeah, a wee bit about the kids

On Myra

She's my 39 month old little mak nenek. She can talk (& nag) your ears off. If she caught me playing with her beautifully combed hair, she'll go "Apa ni mummy, play dengan rambut kakak, nanti tak cantik nanti." T_T

She's still as loud as ever. She loves to sing her nursery rhymes or even recite her doas as loud as possible, whenever and wherever she wants. Hatta when her little brother is sleeping sekalipon, much to our..hmm..amusement? Marah nanti merajuk, tak marah nanti adik bangun - so her usual fav ayat is "Apa ni mummy/daddy, sikit-sikit marah, sikit-sikit marah". Haih la anak.

She's really helpful when she wants to, like only yesterday, we were in Malacca and I was packing up as we're leaving for KL after berbuka. MIL gave her a huge plastic bag to hand over to me, so that I could stuff our dirty laundry in it, but instead of handing it over, she sat down next to me and started to stuff all the laundry into the bag herself. I didn't even ask her to do it. Terharu sungguh mak. My little one, all grown up. Sob.

She's losing her baby fat, probably due to school, yer lah, you can't expect that everything that are being served at school, menepati piawaian anak tekak, she could be really fussy when it comes to food sometimes - so whenever she's back from school, I'll try to beef her up, as much as possible with rice, pasta, yogurt - whatever her heart desires, almond biscotti and congo bars included.

She's getting pretty bad in the drama queen department. She could be all happy, bright eyed one second and all teary and screaming a split second later. All the little brother business, having to share the formerly undivided attention is probably taking its toll. Haih, whenever it happens, I'll try to refrain myself from lashing it all out on her and to remind  myself that she's still a baby herself, adjusting takes time.

She's also starting to be quite selective when it comes to clothes at times. When we decided to go out for a bit after berbuka 2 days ago, she insisted to be properly dressed with her 'baju jalan-jalan' instead of the pjs.

She knows the ABC like the back of her hands, you can even play the 'A if for...B is for' game with her. I'd usually do that whilst we're on our way to school. No, I'm still not a kiasu mummy in that sense. I just do it for fun, it's pretty amusing that she could come up with 'W is for worm' today and 'W is for water' tomorrow.  She obviously cannot read yet, but she could tell me the leading alphabet for every word by just the sound of it - kalau cakap "D is for apple!" she'll gimme the you-must-be-kidding-me-mummy look and goes "No mummy..D is for donkey".

On Shariq.

He's one happy baby - he loves smiling and giggling so much that he even smiled when he woke up for milk at 4am. Mak dia jer yang too tired and too sleepy to smile.

He just started to roll over from his back to his front so he need to be supervised like 24/7. Pantang letak je pusing, letak je pusing, the only way to stop him from rolling over is to sandwich him in between 2 little pillows or to put him on the rocker, tu pon gigih la dia nak pusing.

When it comes to bottle feeding, he seems to hate em just like his sister did when she was younger. On the 1st day that I started working, he only drank like 6oz throughout the day (so much so that he only gained 500g during my 1st working month - he gained 2kg previously, diet much?).

He'd cry himself to sleep sometimes these days but he's slowly progressing in the bottle feeding department. I have a freezer full of EBM yet to be used as I'd just give him 20oz of chilled EBM everyday. Takot pulak nak bagi frozen EBM in case he's sensitive to the taste and decides to reject bottle feeding altogether. Haih.

Besides the hassles when it comes to bottle feeding, he's an easy baby. He doesn't mind the stroller, he could even sleep innit provided that he's well fed. At night, he doesn't need to be rocked to sleep like her sister did. I just need to nurse him to slumber land and if he got up (not for milk), we just need to pat him back to sleep, easy peasy. Oleh itu I'm not complaining about any sort of backache these days, Alhamdulillah.

At 4month old, he already outgrew most of his 0-6 months outfits, I'm too sexy for my little clothes nampaknya, membesar bagaikan juara. No, I'm not complaining. I'm all for clothes shopping untuk anak-anak. The joy of parenthood, I get to shop for miniature people. ;)

That's all for now, I guess. Both of them adore each other and nothing else matters. Will try to have a regular update on their milestones for memory's sake.Mummy love you kiddos. So very much.

of.4 years.&.me.

We turned 4 last month, on June 25th. Alhamdulillah.

Yea, 4 years of being tied to each other, for better or worst.

I couldn't remember when's the last time we went out for a proper date, probably sometime during the pre-babies years.These days we'd usually need to sneak out if we want to be out alone.

So yea, both of us decided to take the day off from work to celebrate. I've told C*** that even if he decided to work on our anniversary, I'm going out to celebrate on my own anyway. Yer, ayat reverse psychology itu perlu, especially when dealing with my other half - he's the one with 0% romantic bone. Kalau setakat hint-hint di angin lalu, harap maaf. Gue ngak ngerti. :P

Absolutely one of the least likeable attributes when it comes to him, but absolutely something that I have to learn to live with. That's what marriage is all about, no? Romance is overrated (cakap macam dah 40 tahun kawen,padahal?). Dah tua-tua ni, I'm trying not to meroyan too much unless there's a valid reason for it.

On that day, after dropping Myra off at school, we went to the Curve and decided to catch a movie for a start. Our 1st movie in 4 years! - as we'd usually watch em at home these days. Very the pacik and macik like that. (We watched Maleficient by the way, it was terrific, Sleeping Beauty with a twist -  but I'm probably bias - as I'm always a fan of Disney movies.)

We later had our morning tea break at IKEA. Cakes and coffees. I even got to stock up on my usual scented candles. Not the best out there, but will do lah, can't be bothered to invest on a bunch of fancy candles which are just gonna be burned off later. Essential oils is a different story altogether, but with kids at home, lighting oil burner screams hazard which is why I'd usually go for Fabreeze, you get to disinfect the fabrics and the place is somewhat deodorized too. he he.

I digress. Sungguh la mak-mak (dan cheapskate) sekarang.

Moving on, after our tea break and a wee bit of window shopping (promised C*** that shopping won't be included in our anniversary day itinerary T_T ), we went for our late sushi lunch. The food was mediocre. I didn't even feel like ordering my all time favourite unagi. Seems like we have to hunt for something better after EID.

We wrapped up the day with BR ice cream sundae (& we even got a generous discount, probably to compensate their blurriness, nak buat sundae pon kena tgk illustrated picture segala T_T) before heading back home. Yes, balik awai to avoid the bad traffic, it's a working day after all and we need to pick up the little princess from school.

If you ask me, I'd say a couple needs to go out on an occasional date every now and then, you know, to keep the excitement going. he he. The carelessly walking hand in hand whilst roaming the mall adelah fun (kalau Malaysia ni sejuk, I'd drag C*** to a park instead :P ). It's pretty relaxing, especially when you don't have to keep on chasing after a running toddler or soothing a crying baby or worrying about where's the nearest nursing room in case someone's hungry or need a nappy change - the normal parents' dilemma.

We're parents (and we love it) but we're a couple first. Happy 4 years love, I'm looking forward to many more years to come.


I have tonnes of stuff in my head that deserves to be written out, to serve as a readable memory when I'm old and wrinkly.

I was waiting for my writing mojo to return, which probably not soon enough.

Anyway, I shall write about my dad today, about the trial that he's facing right now.

About a month ago, he had stroke which left him with hemiplegia - on the right side of his body.

If you ask me, I'd say that the news hit me like a dream, it still feels like a dream.

My dad was as healthy as any 60 years old man can be. He's an occasional jet setter with an active lifestyle, he even worked out at home. None of those typical high blood pressure & diabetes either - except for the fact that he's a smoker. (Sure, the stroke may happen due to a lot of other factors - high cholesterol level,lifestyle yada yada - but when you smoke, the risk for stroke is doubled.)

It is an addiction that I wish he didn't have, an addiction that I wish would come to a permanent stop for my loved ones (I won't go into details about who is who over here, but I bet you know who you are if you're reading this, if ever)  - especially those that are still in denial of the bad effects of smoking - like yea, if they are sick, it's not from the smoking ya know? It's must be due to some 'other' thing besides smoking. Smoking is after all, 'safe'. Talking about denial. T_T

Well, if there's something that I've learned from living with a smoker for the past 29 years of my life - is that no matter what you say or do, you'll never win. They need to experience it for themselves to learn their hard lessons.

No amount of preaching, lecturing, documentaries, awful pictures of smoking related diseases on ciggie box or horrid news will do. After all, jadi kat orang lain kan? Nothing to do with me, saya sihat walafiat, what can go wrong kan?

No,I'm not wishing for the worst to make them come to their senses. I wish there's an easy way to make them learn - like waking up one day to realize that smoking is bad for you and people around you. I truly do.

After all, smoking is something that you choose to do, not like how you can't choose your blood type, the color of your skin or ethnic that you're born with.

Okay, too much rambling about smoking. I could get a wee bit emotional like that.

Back to dad, after about 3 weeks at the hospital, we finally brought him back home a few days before Ramadan started. He's still in his rehabilitation phase right now. He's progressing. I wish for nothing but his speedy recovery and for to him to be able to be his normal self again, I miss his nagging (& I wish that I'm not living 4 hours away, I need a pintu suka hati).

I'd like to write more, but the thought of it is somewhat suffocating.

Stay strong Ayah, you know we love you.

Allahumma yassir wa laa tu`asir 

of.2nd birth story.&.me.

Well, hello there. Yea, I'm still pretty much alive and kicking.

Sorry for the long hiatus stalkers, lots of stuff happened in the past 3 months.

Let's start with the story of the newest addition of the family.

On March 18th, we were blessed with a healthy baby boy. Alhamdulillah.

Yea, I'm going to ramble a bit on the birth story. This little boy of ours, unlike his sister, refused to come out as early as his sister did. He decided to stay put and came out like 2 days before the EDD (and that is after a false alarm drama a week earlier).

So yea, it goes without saying that I got myself a week long MC to wait for little highness arrival. After a week long of contractions here and there, I finally started to feel really uneasy at 4.30am of March 18th - so much so that I couldn't sleep. I got up, had a shower (I already had a bloody show by then), stuffed myself with toast(it felt like kertas pasir mind you, tapi telan saje lah, God knows when my next meal gonna be) and waited for C*** to get up for work (which is sometime after 6am).

When the other half finally got up, I think he could already tell bout what's coming (it's our 2nd baby after all), what with finding me in the kitchen with toast in my hand at that hour in the morning, mimpi ape dok makan roti pagi2 kan? I'm not a breakfast person to begin with.

Since MIL was already in Mekah for her umrah by then, we decided to send Myra to her playschool for the day (not like we have any other choice pon) - dengan harapan when it's time to pick her up from school, the baby's already out of my tummy.

So yea, we dropped the little one off at playshool and we rushed to APSH which is just 10 minutes drive away from home. We got there pretty early, the doc was still not in and I refused to get myself into the labour suite just yet, I mean, the last time that I thought that I'm going to beranak, I was only 1cm dilated. Too much drama. T_T

So might as well wait for the doc for a proper assessment before deciding on what to do next. Whilst waiting, I forced C*** to grab something for breakfast, he even bought me a sandwich, which I ate mechanically and failed to finish (that is when I know that the labour was for real, sebab dah tak lalu makan). Fast forward few hours later, we got to see the doc and whaddaya know? I was already 5-6cm dilated. Ya, it was unbelivable because I was in pain but it was nothing unbearable (yet) at that point.

By 11am, I walked myself to the labour suite and got hooked up to the IV after the usual empty-your-bladder-and-tummy procedures. Yea, I got a drip to boost the speed of the progress which equals to double dose of  I-want-to-kick-everyone-in-the-face pain. It was so painful that there's no word to explain. Owh, C*** was there throughout the whole thing, he was his usual cool and composed-self, peppering kisses on my head, he even cracked jokes that for once, failed to amuse me, like oih mak sakit nak beranak ni, lagi nak buat lawaaakk, tampar kang. :P

So after 3 long hours later, the midwife came to offer me a painkiller, I must have looked so miserable, I did nothing but closed my eyes whilst reciting doa Nabi Yunus in an endless loop in my head - what with annoying CTG thingy strapped onto my tummy and the lady next door screaming bloody murder as if......isi tempat kosong.... T_T

She decided to do a quick VE before giving me the drug, which was when she found out that there's no more time for that, I was too far along, more like 'Owh sekejap lagi dah nak boleh push ni'. Great. Lain kali tanya la siap-siap tahun lepas ke?

Everything else felt like some sort of liquid blurry moment from then on, I remember that I felt the urge to push and the midwife simply replied "Sedut gas, sedut gas", like seriously, the gas did nothing for me, no I'm-on-cloud-9 feeling or the sort, nada. The next thing I know, the doc was already there, all ready for the baby which came out 2 pushes later.

Yes, it was a quick labour, for that, I'm eternally grateful, Alhamdulillah.

Baby SM was born at 2.56pm and at 3.57kg, he's surely a big baby compared to his sister. Honestly we didn't expect him to be that big, his birth weight was expected to be  more or less 3kg.

Everything was pretty dandy from there tho I lose quite a lot of blood during the delivery (me & my endless low hb during pregnancy issue) and I still detest the stiching part of the whole delivery. Moi parents and little brother even came over for a visit on that day :') but they had to get back to Kedah on the same day as they are busy preparing for lil brother's solemnization (which goes without saying that it's an event that I didn't get to attend, owh well). We (the 4 of us) stayed at the hospital for our 3 days 2 nights beranak-getaway. :P

When we got back home, C*** was my confinement-man. ha ha. He cooked (as per my instructions) and do all the confiment stuff for me. Thanks you love, I love you long time. :x

We got back to Kedah for my confinement few days later ( hello daily massage and tungku and goyang kaki tengok tv), only to find out that baby SM got jaundice. It was nothing serious compared to his kakak, so a week later, he's already jaundice free.

That's about it, being a mother of two is not easy, juggling between a toddler and a newborn is another phase altogether - which is something that I shall relish, honestly.

of.numero dos.update#4.&.me.

37 weeks & 5 days to date.

Nope, no baby yet and honestly, I'm hoping for him to stay in the safety of moi womb until Myra recovers from her bout of HFMD - which she got

Yea, it was measles few weeks back and now it's the dreaded HFMD - which worsen the little one's level of clinginess - no thanks to the rashes and mouth ulcers. T_T

Talks about cobaan eh?

Besides the fact that I still have to painfully drive (and waddles) to work and the endless night trips to the loo, we're doing fine. I can still work on the house chores (minus the laundry folding obviously) and the cooking.

The next checkup is coming within 2 days and I hope that everything is dandy inside tho I'm feeling pretty miserable outside. Well, nevermind me, I'll live. InsyaAllah.

Anyway, been having the braxton hicks every now and then these days, it could get pretty intense at times and whilst it didn't hurt, it's pretty unnerving (mak takot nak). There's also this weird feeling like someone is scratching you from the inside - which despite the fact that it's my 2nd pregnancy is an odd sensation.

On a lighter note, I've managed to pack the hospital bags for us last week.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go.

Or maybe not.

 Allahumma yassir wa laa tu`asir

of.32 & 33 months.&.me.

Now that I'm pretty free at work, let's catch up with the little's one milestones,

shall we?

She's currently in her independent phase. She prefers to do (most) of everything on her own - and even when she fails (or too lazy) to do so, she'd go "Okay, mummy/daddy tolong/ajar/help", the keyword here is tolong/ajar/help. Like when she couldn't take off her skinny jeans because it's pretty snug, instead of saying "Okay, come here mummy buat", you are better off with "Okay, come here mummy tolong/ajar" and you better wait for her permission "Okay, mummy/daddy tolong/ajar" else she'll cry her lungs out, saying "Myra buat, Myra buat" sejuta kali. T_T

She's pretty helpful these days. You could count on her to pick up on her bottles or to dump the dirty laundry into the laundry basket or to pick up on her mess/toys (sometimes). She even took the liberty to remind me to go to the loo before bedtime (considering that the toilet is my best friend now), "Mummy, dah wee-wee belum?" as I climbed into bed next to her. T_T

She loves my makeup tho I don't wear much to begin with. She's particularly into lipsticks, lip gloss, lip tint, lip balm - she's probably enticed by the colorful tubes, so I'd always try keep one of those organic lip balm handy especially for her. Asalkan boleh pakai, it's not like she knows that it's colorless. he he. Tho sometimes I relented when she insisted on wearing the one that I just put on just to avoid the drama, calit sikit pon jadi lah - for the record, I do not condone the act of putting makeup on little kids, it's just so wrong. I probably should put on my makeup when she's not watching. *shakes head*

Now that she knows how to recite the doa makan, she'd recite them before meals and sometimes in between. Dah makan half way pon tiba-tiba baca doa lagi - much to our amusement. Asalkan bahagia lah nak. 

She's already an expert when it comes to alphabets, tho the small letters still confuse her for a bit - not like I mind, she's still a baby. Besides the alphabets, numbers and colors - her latest discovery is the shapes. She knows the usual ones - circle, square, triangle, oval, star etc - which she picked up at school.

I'm not sure whether we've been preparing her enough for the new baby, but these days, whenever she sees me sorting the baby clothes and stuff, she'd either go "Ni Myra punya!" or "Ni baby punya!" depending on her mood. Sometimes I'll go "Nanti baby dah out from mummy's tummy, baby nak pinjam boleh?" and she'd nod her head "Boleh".

She loves chocolates. Chocolate biscuits/cookies. Bread with chocolate spread/nutella. Chocolate milk/ milo. Chocolate ice cream. Chocolate brownies. Dark chocolate bars. Chocolate anything. She's not into sweets tho, she's pretty awkward when it comes to hard candies, probably because it can't be chewed. I'd usually give her a dose of chocolate every now and then, if she asks for more, I'll just remind her that too much chocolate = gigi yellow. Works like a charm every time.

She's still my little drama queen, even more so these days. Last night she cried her eyes out just because I refused to give in to something, the truth is, I was dead tired. All I wanna do was to get her to bed because it was already an hour after her usual bedtime and honestly I was feeling pretty dizzy myself so I couldn't get myself to decode her request which came out as "Nak color,nak color", nak color apa lagi malam-malam ni nakkk..tidoq please. So yea, I was in bed and she stood at the end of the bed crying, after a good few minutes she suddenly stopped and went "Mummy,mummy, tengok ni, hingus! Nak lap." I couldn't help but laugh when she finally climbed into bed next to me and fell asleep like few minutes later.

Haih, I love you cekodok, so very much.

of.numero dos.update#3.&.me.

I'm already in my 35th week and I'm doing pretty bad in writing about this numero dos pregnancy.

Not like I don't want to, but I've been so busy juggling between work (previously) and on-going stuff at home that I could hardly write one those lengthy pregnancy updates anymore.

Now that I'm finally free, dah macam, hoih, 35 weeks already, what am I supposed to write again?

If I were in a race, the finish line is already in sight. Tak dan dah nak recall about everything.

Moving on, we went for our hhmmppp.. umpteenth checkup last week. I gained like less than a kg in 4 weeks. I'm doing great in the blood pressure and whatever not department and yeah, I've started to waddle like a penguin (again) - much to C***'s amusement (or is it annoyance? ha ha.) T_T

The baby's fine tho. Growing up nicely according to his gestational age. Everything is pretty dandy. Alhamdulillah.

We're due for another checkup next week, for the GBS test (yikes!) and were reminded to be prepared for the lil one's arrival (latest) by the end of February as there's a tendency for him(yes,you got male! :P) to pop as early as Myra did (which was during the end of the 37th week), so yeah, am I prepared?

No. I'm yet to check on my Medela FS and get my hands on a new sterilizer(so it goes without saying that I'm yet to sterilize anything) and finish up with the washing of a miniature mountain of little clothes and I'm not sure whether I'll be able to cope with the mummy-of-two thingy (especially the sleepless night phase) and finally, if I were to be honest, I don't want to be reminded of the pain of childbirth, just yet. :P

Fine lah, I can't recall on how it feels anymore. Like, I know that it's very very painful, tapi dah tak ingat how painful. Probably one of God's miracles -  else berapa ramai manusia yang serik after the 1st? Ehem.

On the other hand, I can't wait for the little one to arrive. I'm almost done with the preparation. Already got a tick for most of the stuff on my mummy and baby list. I'm excited about having a tiny little baby at home again. We even managed to hunt for the upright freezer last week and it's already delivered to us last Saturday( thank you love!).

Haih, fickle minded much?


I don't know what to write.

It's the 2nd day of work after the long weekend - which out of 4 days, I only managed to spend one whole day at home. The rest? I was in between home and working my ass off in the office, buyung or not.

We had to sacrifice our long weekend off whilst some people out there whined about our bank downtime (pasai tak reti-reti nak baca the annoucements T_T)

Anyway, all went well, tho with a bunch of glitches here and there (with a bunch of dramas thrown in. Haih). Nobody gets fired, so all is well. :P

If I were to be honest, I'm tired. Physically & mentally. It's not helping when it's pretty hard to get a good night sleep due to my expanding belly and the endless trip to loo.

I swear I can actually walk to the toilet to take a leak with my eyes closed these days. Hasil latihan getting up in the dark yang dah beribu kali. I should get an award for that.

I need a break, another babymoon, yes?

Hope everyone is well & happy, because I am (since I'm able to goyang kaki for a bit.)

of.random rambling.&.me.

We've been trying to eat healthily for the past few days. On 2nd thought, it's probably ain't that healthy. Simple is more like it.

I just don't feel like having rice these days for some unknown reasons - so I've been skipping the rice-for-dinner menu tho our freezer is still pretty well stocked. So yea, we've been having those pasta, tuna sandwich and the sort for dinner, which suits me just fine and I'm glad that C***'s on the same boat as I am, in fact he requested for em.( I heart you to bits, thanks for making my life easier.) We'll keep the curry and whatnot for the weekends okay?

Anyway, how on earth am I supposed to stop a soon-to-be-3-yo from turning the house upside down? Every morning I'd usually spend a good 20 minutes to put away the toys (& it's agonizing to bend and pick up on stuff with a melon tummy) and to clean up the carpet from the 1001 bits of cookie crumbs - only to get back to square one the moment we got back home in the evening.

I can't ask her to stop playing with her toys kan? Or to stop her from asking for cookies, cereal and whatever not she wants to have for snacks.

For now, I give up - so much so that I think that I'll just do the cleaning when I finally cannot tahan the mess anymore. Say, once every 2 days. For now, breathe in and breathe out. At least not every inch of the carpet is covered with crumbs or toys, I can still tip toe around her toys, I can still see my kaki. So okay lah. T_T

Another day to go before the weekend, bertabahlah! and downs.&.me.

I'm tired. The cut-over for the mind-numbing project is coming in 19 days, or is it 18? The last time I checked it was 90. T_T

Anyway, at the 31th week, I'm feeling pretty energetic one second, and all tired and breathless the next. Sometimes I feel like doing nothing but stay in bed all day long - but with a toddler in tow - it's obviously impossible.

I can't even sleep in during the weekend - what's new with this? Yelah guess who gonna pat my face whilst saying "Mummy, mummy, bangun aa". T_T

So yea, these days, I've reduced to simple cooking (but it could be rather elaborate when I feel like it, so much so that C*** gonna go "Kalau rajin tu, macam-macam dia nak masak"), keeping the living hall & kitchen clean (whilst reminding C*** to take out the thrash, I do not take out the trash, the last time was probably 3 years ago), washing the laundry and to detest folding them with a vengeance.

Why I hate folding? I have no idea. I'll build a mountain of em (the freshly laundered clothes I mean) if you let me - without even a drop of guilt or the sort. Honestly, I could actually live with the thought of rummaging through them everyday for that particular piece of skirt or shirt or boxer short or whatever - instead of folding them.

Yea, it is that bad - so more often than not, I'll ask C*** to do it and I love him even more so for that, for not saying no and for not asking me to do it instead. Trust me, it's the hormone (or maybe not).

On a lighter note, we're doing pretty well in the preparing-for-the-new-baby department. I think there are only a bunch of stuff more to hunt for.

Ya know, another bunch of small stuff, like the Amway baby oil which would be great to have, those little packs of herbs for herbal bath to be used during confinement, the feeding bottles (which I'm not sure of which brand yet, gonna stick with AVENT perhaps? Have to train the baby to take the EBM thru bottle earlier this time around), a sterilizer (no more el-cheapo brand which only lasted for a year), newborn diapers, a bunch of colorful toe-socks etc.

The last 2 big stuff are the upright freezer and a light stroller. I don't really mind the stroller, but I so need the upright freezer supaya pisang tak berbuah dua kali, God knows how it pained me to manage the frozen EBM with our limited storage. Bila dah banyak stock, takdak tempat nak simpan, bila dah tak simpan stock, masa tu jugak la production nak merudum. Hoih. Stressed out much?

I hope to BF our next baby (at least) as long as I managed to provide for Myra, if not longer lah kan? Talking about BF, I'm yet to check on my pump. Must check on it this weekend. Hopefully it's still alive and kicking.

That's about it. I'm looking forward to the long weekend and I'm so going to drag C*** for a dose of Southwestern eggrolls on Saturday (just because the other half hafta work tomorrow.Bohoooo) .

of.morning drama.&.me.

We had one of those separation-anxiety drama again this morning.

Well, she's fine with the idea of going to school and whatnot. She even sang the songs that she learned at the playschool during our ride back home. My guts (my motherly instinct, whatever you call it) is telling me that it's not like she's being bullied at school or something along that line.

It's just that she detest the idea of being left behind - when we got to the school she eagerly took of her shoes, put em on the shoe rack and insisted for me to follow her in. She even showed me the toys, the book that they read the day before, she even went "Roosters go coookoo kokkkkokk ", but the moment I went "Myra school, mummy work okay?", all hell broke loose.

Like, what do you expect? My toddler has been staying at home, the safe and warm homely cocoon since she was born. As much as she loves socializing with the other kids, I think being left behind is somewhat intimidating for her.

Leaving her for work, with tears streaming down her face is painful tho I've been told countless of times that it was short-lived - the tears I mean. It's not like she spends the entire day crying - like what a kiasu mum like me would have thought.

I hope everything gonna be better once we start to send her over regularly - these days, she's only there twice/week.

Honestly, it's hard not to feel the guilt, tho for what, I can't really say. At some level, I think every parent wishes they could smooth out the way for their children, be it big or small. It sucks to watch them struggle.

 Allahumma yassir wa laa tu`asir

of.29, 30,31 months.&.me.

So yea, don't tell me that I'm pretty terrible at updating the little one's milestones.

It was once a 2-in-1 post, now I'm upgrading it to 3-in-1 post. T_T

It's getting bad eh? I know. Anyway, procrastinate no more. Here we go.

Should I rewrite about how expressive ( and not to mention, demanding) she is these days? She'll wake up during the weekend requesting for 'oti onai' for breakfast and 'ice clim' for dessert. She's such a big fan of roti canai these days that I always have em stocked up in the freezer together with her favourite mini cornetto ice cream. (Fine, it's not her favourite, but giving her the mini-sized ice cream is easier to handle. Mak malaih nak cleanup ya see?)

Her vocabulary is amazing - especially of the animal kingdom as it is pretty extensive, this much I hafta admit. She could name the owl right through the hippopotamus - but she could get pretty defensive of her choice sometime, like when I say that it's an owl, she'll insist that it's a bird tho she knows that it's an owl.

Me : Myra, what's this? * points to a picture of an owl*
Myra : Bird.
Me : Owl lah.
Myra : No, bukan owl, birddd.
Me: Bird ni owl lah.
Myra : Okay okay.
Me : Ni owl kan?
Myra : Tak, ni bird.
Me: T_T

Go ahead and ask her the same question sometime later, and she'll probably switch the answer to owl if she pleases. Asalkan bahagia lah nak.

She's getting pretty clingy nowadays. She probably could tell that her time as the only child in the family is running out. :P

She'll ask to be wrapped with her towel from top to toe - like a baby - when she's out from the shower and to be carried to the bed. She also requested to bath in her previously-forgotten baby basin, with 'air anas', mind you - tho she couldn't be bothered with the water temperature before. She'll come over to sit on my lap and ask to be cradled in my arms - also like a baby. I'd usually try to accommodate her various requests, except when it comes to the excessive 'dukung' part as my back is starting to ache.

She's a vain pot. She loves looking at her own photos and videos. She'd dig into em whenever possible, be it those in my cellphone or the tablet. She amuses herself by looking at her baby pictures and she'll go "Mummy, Myra kecikkk jer". You'll always be 'kecik jer' to me darling, even when you're probably 30.

She had her 2nd haircut 2 weeks ago - by our in-house hair-stylist aka her daddy. :P Her previous (& the 1st) haircut was years ago, by years I mean 29 months ago and that's like 2 years and 5 months to be exact. It takes forever for her hair to grow after she got her head shaved bald right after the confinement period, so yeah, her next haircut is probably in the next 3 years - tu pon if we have the heart to do it (again) - tho Myra was surprisingly calm about it. Owh well, I love her curls. :P

I've been making it a habit for the both of us to say "I love you" every morning. I'd usually wait for her to wake up and the moment she opens up her eyes, I'll go "I love you" and she'll reply with her"Ai wuv yu" and my next reply would be "I love you too cekodok".

Talking about this routine of ours, sometime during last weekend, I conked out after taking in my flu med,so after 2 hours of a deep sleep (it was supposed to be a short afternoon nap,but owh well?), I woke up only to find her sitting next to me. She realized that I was awake and went "Ai wuv yu" and after I replied she returned it back with "Ai wuv yu too cikodok". I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry. Mak terharu nak, tengah hormonal ni,lagi la cepat rasa nak nangis. *wipe eyes* ha ha.

She loves going to playschool, but she hates the idea of being left behind, by well, me. On the 3rd & 4th day of school, she cried each time I dropped her off (tho it was pretty short lived) and when I got there to pick her up, the moment her teacher went "Myra, mummy dah sampai", she dropped everything she's currently doing (on the 4th day she was happily singing with her friends), run to the door, had one look at me and cried "Yey yey, mummy sampai" whilst crying okeh? Tears streaming down her face, snot and all. Again, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Drama sangat anak mak.

She loves to play mak-mak with her Elmo & Abby Cadabby. She'll wrap em with a towel or cover em with a blanket, pretending that she's about to put them to sleep. Tepuk-tepuk and the usual zikir included. Once, sometime last weekend, I caught her reciting some intangible doa, followed with 'aminnn'. he he. 

At this age, she's getting pretty picky when it comes to food. Some she would eat without fuss, some not - but she never fusses when it comes to her vitamins or even medicines when she's down with cold or something. Lagi cakap "Nak ubat!" ada lah. She also loves honey. She'd go to the kitchen, points to the honey jar, fake a cough and goes "Sakit tekak, makan honey!". Okay okay, you got a point there missy.

Haih. I love you baby, will all my heart.


I'm tired.

This ongoing project doesn't only rob me from my usual peace of mind (there are tonnes of stuff to work on), but also forced me to work on weekends. My freaking precious weekends - but the good stuff bout all of these - I could get a day off to replace my working weekend whenever I like. I'd always have a full plate at work whilst struggling to work on stuff that I didn't know exist, like honestly, I initially didn't know half of the stuff that I'm currently working on. Now that they are finally growing on me, I can breathe easily.

Despite the expected stress, I like being productive, knowing at the end of the day, my time at work is well spent. Like if I have nothing to do, lagi best la duduk rumah je kan?

Moving on, I came back home from work on Saturday to a pile of neatly folded laundry - which is awesome. C*** might not be the most romantic other half in the universe, like heck, he is hardly romantic but this little gesture counts. For me, someone folding and loading the laundry is romantic, because  he knows how I detest folding and my folding sucks. Just like how he hates to dry out the laundry so I hafta do it for him. That's how we roll in the household baby. :P

Yea, when I detest something it shows and there's no point of telling me otherwise. I'm an open book, transparent, know what I'm willing to do and what I'm not when it comes to relationship, I think it makes loving me pretty much easier.

Moving on, to-date, Myra has been sent to the playschool twice last week. She loves it. She didn't even shed a tear during the 1st day - but, yea there's a but - she's been pretty moody during the 2nd day. I reckon it's the flu (which I thought was the normal morning flu, ya know malam-malam adelah super sejuk in our neighborhood) - as she's extra clingy when she's pretty under the weather.  We shall wait until she's cold-free before sending her to the playschool again - we don't want her to be spreading the virus to other kids right?

So yea, the 1st day she came back without her bottle - which didn't bother me much since we have tonnes of bottles at home, but on the 2nd day, she came back without her toiletries bag and horse(it's a rainbow-colored horse soft-toy). We are lucky that she's not too attached to any of her toys, else guess who hafta knock on the playschool door asking for the horse to be returned?

The toiletries bag, well, I shall ask for it to be returned on a daily basis later tho I've chuck out all the 'weird' toiletries stuff and replaced em with a more generic one - like replacing Myra's leave on hair conditioner with a J&J baby oil.

Why, you ask? During the 1st day, she came back looking like a baby lion. Rambut kembang-kembang okies. C*** went on saying that they probably didn't know what the conditioner is for. So I went ahead and replace it with the baby oil (tho OCD me cringed at the thought of baby oil on my baby's hair) and the little one came back home on the 2nd day with a better looking hair. *sighs*

I'm refraining myself from sounding like a kiasu mummy. So yea, replacing the 'weird' stuff with the more generic ones is the way to go. I don't think that I should go and give em 'How to groom my daughter 101' lesson kan?

The working mum's dilemma.

of.hectic life.&.me.

Life has been pretty hectic lately.

What with the ongoing project at work, the playschool hunt for the little one and whatnot.

Talking about work, less than 90 days more to go before the go-live date and sometime next week, I shall resume my long abandoned graveyard-shift. Like seriously, I couldn't even recall when was the last time I came for a midnight deployment, probably months ago.

Hopefully I could still stay awake at 2am to do the job as I'm sooo used to conk out before 11pm these days. Katil is my friend.

Ya see, I'm rather lethargic during this 2nd pregnancy, age is probably catching up with me. I used to be able to stay awake for days. Sekarang tidak lagi. T_T

On a lighter note, it seems like I have to drag C*** to come along with me tho I'm not much of a scaredy cat - but ya know, I like having him around (tho I'd be busy with work on hands and he hafta find a way to entertain himself) and for safety reason obviously. It's 2 am not 2pm, heck, sometimes it's not even safe tho it's during the pm :P.

Moving on, we finally decided to send the little one to playschool next year and I've been searching high and low for the 'right' one. Let's not go into my definition of 'right'. It might take days for me to explain, but to cut it short, I just want her to be somewhere safe where she could learn, play and make friends.

If ya ask me, I don't bother much bout the educational bit, she's 2. She has years and years ahead for that. I don't mind if she can't read at 3 - I couldn't read until I was 5, me think. So yea, what's the fuss kan? Sekarang baca Java codes pon pandai. :P

Anyway, after much searching and visiting on my side. We decided to send her to an Islamic Montessori playschool which is just a few minutes drive from our place. We went there few weeks ago and I have a good feeling about it tho it's not as famous as the international Islamic Montessori that we initially wanted to send the little one to (since they ran out of space for full day program in every freaking center that I went to, so I gave up).

I also short-listed another Islamic Playschool, but after a discussion with the PIC, I couldn't help but think that they are actually missing the essential essence of a playschool - their program is on the serious we-mean-business part, more of the formal kindergarten type. They even have a strict assessment thingy-magicy after each of the modules - don't get me wrong, I think that their program is great but probably way too serious for a 3 year old. I might revisit those stuff once my little one is older.

Anyway, back to the chosen playschool. I like the various activities that they are doing for the kids and the kids seems to be genuinely happy - I stalked their FB and they have tonnes of  daily activities pictures posted on em (but C*** was like, "of coz they won't post up pictures of the kids crying " T_T yea, you got a point there mister. ).

Owh,the principal herself is friendly and she wasn't trying to be pushy about the enrollment which is a brownie point.

I also like the fact that they are handling the kids in a small group with a good teacher:kid ratio, 1:5. I mean, kalau satu group tu 10 orang - especially for toddlers, pengsan lah cikgu nak jaga. My little one alone is pretty handful.

So yea, I do hope she will be well taken care of, after all, she's my amanah from Allah and from me to them, and I'd always pray for her safety and happiness. Kalau tidak, siap! ha ha. Dah standby dah lawyer kat rumah.(Hi little brother, adek kesayangan! *waves*). :P

Owh, it was my other half's 30th birthday last Sunday (Happy birthday love!). After stocking up on the groceries in the morning, we sneaked out for a quick birthday date aka shopping spree when the little one was asleep. Well, I have to admit that C*** is a better shopping partner when he doesn't have to juggle between handling a 2 year old and shopping. We even had time for desserts before going back home. We should do it again sometimes C***.  ;)

of.eventful weekend.&.me.

The weekend was pretty eventful for me. We managed to stock up on the groceries, stocked on my shampoos (so yea, there are like 4 shampoos in my current rotation list) and Myra's milk on Saturday, got back home by noon - but I somehow managed to tick the steamed fish off my craving list by whipping em up myself just in time for lunch.

God knows how satisfying it was - tho honestly I have no idea how it tasted like. I'm still having this bad flu-cough thingy ya see? So my taste is pretty much impaired, for me, it might be salty,spicy or sweet, but nothing much in between.

 I even made a pot of sweet wheat porridge (bubuq gandum yo!) in the morning - regardless of not knowing how it gonna turn out, but due to its no-brainer recipe, I guess it didn't turn out bad, it could be either creamy and sweet or creamy and too sweet, which could be fixed easily.

So yea, will absolutely cook up a batch again, right after I regain my taste. What with the rainy season these days, a bowl of warm sweet porridge = bliss. Absolutely my kind of comfort food.

My Saturday ended up pretty early. I  conked out together with the little one after my flu med at 9PM.

On Sunday, we're up and running pretty early as C*** had to drive us all the way to KLIA for our dim sum brunch buffet. Yea, we're spontaneous just like that. :P

The dim sum spread was awesome. We had like 4 rounds of different variations of those little wonders, steamed, fried and whatnot - until the little one fell and had a small bump on her head so we had to ask for a few cubes of ice (but the kind restaurant captain gave us a bucket of em together with a pack of wet tissue). It goes without saying that when you child started crying = parents dah tak lalu makan (but we were all stuffed by then).

Luckily, the little one's tantrum was short-lived, so she had fun running around the airport (yea, she was up and running again,even after she fell flat on her face)
and we even chilled out for a bit at the viewing deck before heading back home.

Spending our time together = as happy as a clam me.

That, my friend, is truly my kind of weekend - until I realized that C***'s uniforms were yet to be ironed. T_T

So yea, it's my kind of weekend, minus the ironing (fret not  C***, the ironing shall persist as long as possible, once I'm too tired to stand on my own (later) ballooned-up feet, .....sila sambung :P )

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