of.prepared.&.me.

I've been meaning to update on the kids' milestones this week, but I've been busy working on the Thai's project FSD and whatnot.

Whilst I was going through the office mail this morning, got a call from the boss and when his opening line sounded like this

"I don't know whether this is a good or a bad news.."

I know whatever news that I'm about to hear won't be pretty.

So yea, another bump on the Thai's project, it seems like it's going to be postponed yet again, this time, well into 2016.

Honestly, I'm quite pissed off.

Simply because I've put so much efforts into it and it's annoying to stop half way. I just wanna get it over it.

Like seriously, I've put my mind into it ever since the boss told me that traveling is inevitable for me this time around.

Nope, not because I'm looking forward to all the traveling - yes, I want to travel far this year, but traveling for work is not really what I have in mind - but in all honesty, I've been preparing myself mentally for the work and travel.

I've been telling myself not to fret much about the kids, especially the wee one who's still a BF baby (don't let me start about BF whilst traveling). I've been telling myself that I'll lug the entire family with me, so that I won't be alone and worried in a foreign city.

Ya know, I've been telling myself a whole lots of thing.

So when you finally got a good grip of yourself, datang pulak this dreaded news, I don't know whether I should be sad or happy. *shrugs*

Some might go, "Kecoh jer lebih, pegi siam jer pon?" .

May I remind you that it's not the distance which bugs the hell outta me, but the thought of leaving the kids behind and even if I were to drag the entire household along with me, C*** hafta take some time off from work (the trip is 5-days long, times 2), MIL hafta come along too etc.

Nampak domino effect di situ?

It's not as easy as " Okay, I'm off now, see you in 5 days!".

Like it doesn't feel right to leave them under the care of the other half and the MIL whilst I'm working thousands miles away. Sure, nothing is wrong with that, nobody bats an eye when the husband is away for work (or not), why should it be any different when it comes to me kan?

True, but it just doesn't feel right to me. It doesn't feel right to let them shoulder those tasks that are initially mine, like preparing food for the kids, especially the baby and let's not talk about EBM, my other half know pretty much nothing (something that I'm not proud of, now that we're parents of two) and MIL only knows how to warm up the EBM that I've prepared. So yeah, it doesn't feel right to put them through all the hassle so that I'd get to travel for work.

I feel guilty enough having MIL at our place to take care of the baby whilst we're at work, ni nak tinggal for a few days lagi lah...pffff..

My sick sick conscience.

Ha ha. How's that for a mom's dilemma?

I'm not judging those jet-setter mommies who doesn't seem to have any issue traveling the world, I probably wouldn't make a big fuss out of this someday, especially when my kids are older.

Who knows?

To each, their own yes?

So yea, let's not complicate things any further, as for now, I'd just move on and be happy. :P

Enough of my rambling. Happy (long) weekend!

of.hectic weekend.&.me.

Shariq turned 10 month old yesterday and truthfully, I was sorta preoccupied with the house chores and groceries shopping that I actually forgot this particular leap of age.

Well, after working on the endless house chores, baru perasan that I'm running out of food for Shariq (whilst I was sorting the EBM in the freezer) and  since I had to stock up on the groceries, I dragged the entire house out for a quick groceries shopping yesterday - the kids, MIL and me - as C***'s away on a quick trip to Japan.

On a side note, Myra has been wanting to go out since Saturday - now that she sorta got a grip on the concept of weekend and weekdays, she woke up on Saturday and  went  

"Mummy, today Saturday kan? Saturday kita pegi shopping, jalan-jalan".

"Tapi daddy work." said I.

"Mummy la drive car bawak Myra jalan-jalan jer okay? Drive car mummy jer, tak payah kereta big"

T___T

Yup, that's absolutely my kid alright. he he.

I had Shariq strapped onto my chest whilst Myra sat on the shopping cart during our short little outing, I have absolutely no problem shopping with the kids, but I wish that C*** was around to carry the groceries when we got home. I never really have to bother bout it when he's around, so when he's not, semput sat. Talks about taking someone for granted eh? :P

Fast forward, C*** got back home at 9PM. The kids missed him like crazy, I do to - padahal he was away for 3 days je pon. Probably because he was away during the weekend (and weekend is our family time), instead of the weekdays.

On work days, I'll be busy at work and when I'm home I have the kids to handle, there's ain't much time left to wallow in sadness, loneliness or anything - tho it's not like I'm home alone, but having him around is different. Yea, I'm clingy like that. ha ha.

I'm so going to bury my head in the sand if C*** ever read this.

So yea, he brought back a few months worth of Lush stuff for me which is awesome (and they are cheap compared to our neighboring country *cough* Singapore *cough*) and I better use em before they go bad - being fresh and all, some of the items' shelf life are pretty short. The more reason to start taking care of moi skin, I am, after all adelah 30. Sob. Sedar diri much?



He also got me packs of Matcha chocolates, a new LE tumbler and hmpp..nothing for the kids.Takpe lah, the kids wouldn't know the different pon kalau beli barang diorang kat jusco. They are a wee bit too small to appreciate the different. Budak-budak tak dapat souvenir tak kisah pon, tapi kalau mak dia yang tak dapat apa-apa, _____ sila isi tempat kosong. :P

Well, that's about it. Hafta catch up on the kids' milestones later. Ta ta.

of.production deployment.&.me.

Last week was pretty hectic. The entire week of work was about the upcoming deployment. Had various code change before finally settling down for the final version - the last one was on Friday, hours before the production deployment itself.

So yea, had a scheduled system upgrade deployment otherwise known as the dreaded graveyard shift. C***'s my loyal, awesome companion - as usual. He just got back from JB on Friday, and few hours later, he had to drive me to work. If I were to be honest, I felt guilty as hell, knowing that he's pretty worn out after the long drive home, lepas tu ade pulak orang tu kena keja malam kannn? The timing couldn't have been 'better'.

We were like 10 minutes late (the deployment started at midnight and they started off without me, I am after all, only needed for the verification and troubleshooting) - because I dozed off whilst nursing the baby - terjaga dah pukul 11.30PM. Great.

I got out of the room, thinking that C***'s probably asleep too (hence the reason why he didn't wake me up), but....found him in the front hall, tengah main game instead. I is mad. ha ha.

Dah la orang tu baik hati nak tolong temankan keja tengah malam, tapi kena marah pulak, like why didn't you wake me??

"I'm about to wake you up, tunggu 11.30PM" he replied.

Righhhttt.

On second thought, it's obviously my fault, sendiri nak pegi keja, saper suruh tido. ha ha.

Yea, ampun. I was damn sleepy and wasn't thinking straight. 

T___T

Honestly, I'm just too old for this.

So yea, we went to work, well, I went to work whilst taking C*** along with me. Told him that everything gonna be done in an hour, 2 hours max - but it turned out to be 3 hours. We had to sort out some coding issues.

Grrrr...

I.HATE.CLEANING.UP.AFTER.OTHER.PEOPLE'S.MESS.

*sighs*

Got back home half an hour after 3AM. Shariq was awake and MIL was about to heat up a bottle for him, so fed him myself and we were off to la la land not long after.

Haih. I'm sorry for the trouble C***, what would I do without you?

Tho you know, I hate to sound like a damsel in distress. It's not like I'm not used to driving myself to work at night before, but it had been like what? More than 5 years since the last time - somehow, sometime within that span of time, saya dah jadi penakot. :P

It's a scary world we're living in these days, I wouldn't blame me.

After all, that's what the other half is for, to keep me safe (& deliriously happy.) Yes?

of.first weekend.&.me.

So how's my first weekend of the year went? It was a pretty relaxing weekend. We went out for breakfast on Saturday. Had a wee bit of shopping spree right after that. Someone *cough* just got *cough* his bonus. :P

Bought a bunch of cute shirts for yours truly and Myra - but couldn't find anything interesting for the little one.

We came back home, had lunch and C*** got into one of his rare spring-cleaning mood but here's the catch, he decided that he gonna help ME to throw out some of MY stuff that I've been hoarding since forever.

T___T

Like yea, thanks hon. I probably needed that.

He unearth a huge trolly bag - which probably hasn't seen the sunlight for millions of years, okay, not millions, but 5 years are just as long. The funny thing is, some of the clothes in the bag are new. Without tags but new - and I went "I didn't even know that I have this!". I probably just packed em all up without much thinking (when I moved out of my rented place) and somehow forgotten all about em - which shows how unnecessary those clothes are, kalau necessary, dah lama lah unpack the bag. 

I even found one of my favourite denim skirt and luckily, it still fits. Chucked most of em into our 'donation' bag (which will be sorted again later) - except those items that will be used at home as you know, baju rumah - after 5 years, surely there's no more outing-worthy clothes in there. Mostly dah outdated in style and err..size. :P

The whole spring cleaning thing was pretty easy on me this time, I didn't even get all mopey about it. After all, something hafta be done with the under-utilized clothes kan? I've been procrastinating for way too long. What's new with that?

Moving on, the next day, we went out to restock on the groceries. C*** even got a new gadget for the kitchen. Someone is mighty pleased with his purchase, making coffee is just a button-press away.

Well, the kids are down with mild flu - so much so that Shariq woke up pretty grumpy this morning (sometime before 6AM) and after countless of fruitless attempts to put him down to sleep again, I gave up and let him melepek on my chest, on which he eventually nodded off, then baru lah transfer to his cot and he slept for an hour and a half more. Myra on the other hand, is pretty much her usual self, despite the snot and all that.

Well, whilst dropping Myra off at school today, there's a parent trying to cajole her screaming little girl to get into the school building. The little one was kicking and screaming whilst holding tight to the front gate, much to her mother's embarrassment - she gave me the knowing smile when I got nearer. Tempted to say something, a word of comfort perhaps? I was there in her shoes exactly a year ago but I didn't.

As my little one waved me goodbye (happily *roll eyes*), I couldn't help but feel a wee bit proud along with a tinge of sadness. Proud of how much she's grown tapi sedih knowing that she's not as attached to me as she was before, sure she'd come to me every morning for a hug or showers me with "Myra sayang mummy banyak-banyak". Not like I detest her being independent and all that (that's a part of growing, I know), it just feel like she's needing me less these days, so much so that she actually sleeps with her nenek at night these days. Sob. *clingy mum alert*

Haih lah anak, I do want you to grow, but please darling, not too fast, boleh?

of.1018.&.me.

This is my 1018th post.

Like yea, what in the world could I have possibly written the previous 1017 posts about? Tho the number is not something unusual or spectacular in any way - as this rambling space of mine started off ages ago, way back in 2003. So obviously,my posts varies - from student life, families, relationships and romance (or the lack of it), my daily rant as an IT slave, my transition from a bridezilla to C***'s other half, soon after as a mom-to-be, later - as a frantic mom of one and now, two.

Honestly, it's amazing to see how far I've come and grown (emotionally and ehem, physically). It feels like years before I started to write bout the kids' milestones, I'm actually writing mine.

Since today is the last day of 2014, let's wrap it all up.

Personally, I have my own ups and downs this year. The end of a year-long project at work. Myra's going-to-school drama (& dilemma on my side). The birth of our son. Mom's retirement. My 2nd confinement. My little brother's wedding.

Dad had a stroke (which has easily been one of the most terrifying days in my life) - but on the bright side, it brought us closer as a family. It made a very reliable and responsible man out of my baby brother - and now that he's going to be a father himself, the timing couldn't have been better - every cloud has a silver lining, that much is true.

My constant battle with trust, is something that I still have to work on.

Some bridges burned tho I'm yet to find out why. Sadly, it just did and we're just too in-denial to admit. Thanks to our Malay root, you know how our people would refrain from doing or saying anything, thinking that we are just being polite so we'd usually prefer to wait things out whilst to someone on the other side, it seems like we just don't care.

Someone close to you is in distress, you'd go "I have nothing to offer and I'm afraid of saying anything out of key, so I'd just wait until she/he feels better" the next thing you know, days, months and years have passed and everything is forgotten, including the relationship.

I do hope to make amends. I just have to figure out how.

I am, however, eternally grateful for everything. For the comfort, love and the stability that Allah has given me. I'm hoping, praying for a better year.

Let's hope for the best.

of.weekend.&.me.

We went to a wedding yesterday, a good one I hafta admit - due to its kids friendly location. A well air-conditioned, brightly-lit, huge, nicely decorated hall.

I don't even know the bride or the groom, supposed to be a daughter of someone from C***'s side of the family, but he had no idea who it's either. So yeah, we were there because MIL took us there - tho we did see a bunch of familiar faces.

The food was okay, tho I detest those makciks who were in charge of serving the lauks onto our plates - coz ya know, I didn't get to choose what I wanted. Like, I don't do nasi minyak kuah dalca banjir (even after I told the makcik, tanak kuah tetap la penuh kuah sepinggan ) or chicken breast, especially when I'm at a wedding, most often than not, those parts gonna end up tasting like rubber, hard and dry - but under the scrutinizing eyes of those makciks, I couldn't simply go

"Makcik, saya tanak yang banyak-banyak isi nanti keras, nak drumstick plis? Kuah pon tanak banyak-banyak sikit jer each, saya tak makan acar jeruk jugak. Makcik, saya tamau buah orange letak atas nasi." 

Kena lempang pulak kang. 

Yea, I'm fussy just like that, but it's better to choose something that I'd absolutely eat than having a plate piled up high, tapi ended up tak habis. Negating the whole idea of portion control = tak membazir + enough food for everyone.

Honestly, I totally get the idea of placing those makciks at the buffet table to do the appropriate portion control, but they just irk me sometimes. After all, a kenduri is 'jamu orang makan' (as my dad would put it) so what's up with the rigid control? Kot suka dia la nak makan/pilih apa pon.

Owh well?

Lain padang, lain belalang.

Had a lil detour after the wedding and managed to get myself a little something from Habib Jewel, something to be stacked against my (replacement) wedding ring (I lost my real wedding ring, remember?) since it's a pretty loose fit now. I'm not big on resizing, so getting a ring one size smaller than the current one is the solution to 'lock' the ring into place. Some of the retired rings and charms from Pandora are on sale too, but nothing tickles my fancy and the one that I want is yet to make its way to Malaysia, should probably start looking for it online.

We got back home, put the babies down to sleep as they were starting to get pretty cranky and off we went out for our lil rendezvous - a short one I hafta add. We managed to get back home in a wee bit more than an hour.

Oh yea, C*** finally got me a new iron, to replace the old temperamental one. I made him got me one those fancy Tefal turbo steam, super glide whatever not irons. I'm all about fanciness and efficiency, so yea, had a blast ironing (and face-steaming) last night (C*** even came into the laundry room to check on me, saying "Tengok mummy tu, dah dapat iron baru, iron baju lama-lama pon takde complaint.")  

No complaint? Riggggght. Me and not complaining do not sound quite right. I can complaint about anything. he he. Not like I love finding fault in everything, but if you want something honest, I can absolutely tell you my mind.


Anyway, the iron is great tapi terlebih turbo pulak steam function dia, even at the lowest steam setting - so the next time I'm about to do the ironing, might as well put a layer of charcoal mask on, 2 in 1 you see?

Okay, I'm not complaining, it's just an honest feedback. :P

Thank you handsome.  

Lepas ni get me the Dyson bladeless tower fan pulak, can ah?

of.expectation.&.me.

I have a thing when it comes to expectation. I detest hoping or expecting for something so when I do something for someone, I really don't expect much.

I do not expect to be showered with praises or flowers or gifts or anything along that line because when I did it, I did it because I wanted to, like c'mon, I won't let anyone bully me into doing something that I rather not do - unless they put a gun on my head or something, that is a different story altogether. You got the drift.

So yea, I have almost zero, nada expectation - tho honestly, a thank you would be nice.

But you know what ticks me off? Someone who couldn't be bothered to even utter a single word of appreciation but had the guts to throw a fit over a mere dissatisfaction.

It's like helping someone with an essay, you wrote the entire 1000 words perfect essay for them - only to have it thrown back in your face - just because you forgot to put a blardy dot on the last sentence.

Urgh..can't you put the dot on yourself? Do you not know how? Is it such a chore to add on that missing bit after all that has been done for you?

Susah sangat ke?

Like what's your problem?

You must be glad to be such an ass. I'll applaud you later.

of.BBW2014.&.me.

I finally went to the Big Bad Wolf 2014 last week on Wednesday, my 4th year of going cray cray over the books at one of the biggest book sale ever.

As usual, I went alone - all the better to salivate over the yummy books. Armed with a medium-sized trolly bag and a tote bag - just in case some of my catch couldn't fit into the big bag.

Got there at 9am after dropping Myra off at her playschool. The traffic was pretty smooth heading to  MIECC and since it's my 3rd time there, I am pretty well versed with the parking arrangement and got myself a good spot to park the car. They even had a pickup service in front of the main entrance - leave your books there, go and get the car and drive over to pick up the books - so you don't have to fret about having to lug those heavy books down the stairs if you happened to park downstairs, like I did last year. Nasib baik tak patah pinggang. I was heavily pregnant then.

So yea, I spent 4 hours there, with 30 mins tea break (the food selections wasn't too shabby, but I was not hungry so couldn't say much about it). Managed to roamed the hall for the 1st round within 2 hours. Sorted the books, deposited the full-to-the-brim trolly bag to storage and went for a 2nd round. Picked up some more books, deposited them to storage too and went for a break. Collected the books and after a final sorting, headed to the payments counters - which are as efficient as usual - to make the payment, whilst picking up some more books along the way.

My haul are mostly for myself. I bagged 16 general fiction and non-fiction books. I also dig memoirs. Yea, no romance and the sort for me. I don't do romance anymore tho I'm still the self-confessed sentimental junkie.

Bought a bunch of books for the kids too, as they are a bunch of little book-eaters, you just hafta replenish their book every year, the harder the cover, the better. :P


I didn't get as crazy as I did the previous years, so my catch was pretty moderate, so much so that I couldn't believe myself. Awesome self-control I hafta say. I even gave the John Grisham's books to little brother, so that he'll be able to read em first, whilst I'll slowly go through the rest of the haul.  Managed to finish a book so far - Keeper of the Light: Diane Chamberlain (it's the 1st book of a trilogy, hafta hunt for the others next time), 15 more to go.

They should suffice until the next BBW. I hope.

I feel like going for a 2nd trip, tapi cukup lah kot?

of.kids.&.me.

Shariq gonna be 9 month young within a week and I've been slacking in the milestones department.

Mak anak dua macam ni lah, I barely have time to put my thoughts together, apetah lagi nak recall on their newly acquired skills.

Shariq for instant, is sooo manja these days, whenever he sees me, he'll go "Maa maaaa". Yup, he calls me Mama alright. I first thought it's probably one of this constant mumblings, but he only does that whenever he wanna call out to me or whilst crawling toward me, wanting to be picked up. So yea, at 8 month old, he already calls me Mama. *smiles from ear to ear*

Sometime last month, taught him how to use the straw bottle and he aced like a champ - just like his sister.

I don't know bout you, but I love to hmpp..blow ka? You know, blow on the kids' tummies so that you'll hear the wet-farting sound? ha ha.

So yea, I do that ever so often to Shariq (and Myra too, she's still my baby what?), his tummy is owh so soft and yummy and buncit that I cannot resist. These days, he does that to me too, but not limited to moi tummy. He'll do it on my arms, my shoulder, my kaki pon boleh (especially when he propped himself up against my leg, like "if you don't want your leg to be covered with my saliva mum, pick me up quick!".

Kids these days, they think that they are the boss. Phbbtt..

Owh, he adores his daddy. What's up with my kids and adoring their daddy?

T____T

Whenever C***'s back home after a work trip, he'd literally throw himself at him. Macam setahun tak jumpa. If C*** comes back home late at night when he's already asleep, rest assured that the next morning, when he wakes up and sees his daddy, kelam kabut merangkak toward him - crawling all over me in the process. I feel so used.

T_____T

Myra is as talkative and as expressive as ever tho you won't hear much of her if you're a stranger. She takes time to warm to people, which is good in my book, what with the unexpected world we're living in today.

She picked up some witty phrases from school so when I ask her about what she'd want to have for dinner after picking her up from school, she'd probably go "Apa-apa pon boleh". Great - then when you suggested spinach pasta for dinner (mak dia of course suggest yang senang, takkan nasi tomato ayam merah pulak), she'll ended up asking for nasi goreng instead. So much of apa-apa pon boleh, sebijik perangai ayahnda mu nak - and here I am thinking that apa-apa pon boleh really mean that I get to choose what I want (to cook in this context). Harapan palsu semata.

I think at 3yo 8mth, it's already pretty invalid to write bout her ability to count, to recognize shapes, colors, animals and alphabets - as it's pretty normal for kids these days. She already got those under her sleeves as long as I could remember. Still not pushing her to write, gonna start sometime soon, already got the activity books from BBW 2 days ago.

As much as I'd like to think that my girl is a bubbly little one, she also cries a lot these days, crocodile tears more like it.Crying out loud for attention. More often than not I had to refrain myself from lashing at her. She'd cry bout petty stuff and you can tell that it's pure mengada-ness. Sometimes she's fine with our reasoning and sometimes not. When I'm well rested, I honestly don't really mind the drama, somewhere at the back of my mind, she's still a baby. My baby at that - but having to face those after a long day at work is pretty tough, biting-my-tongue tough.

So when I did lash out on her, I hope that she's not losing her faith in me. I'm human after all. Mak bukan tak sayang, tapi mak penat.

I hope that it's just a phase. We'll make it through together, right?

I love you kids, to the moon and back.  ♥

of.help.&.me.

I've been sitting on pins and needles ever since the Big Bad Wolf 2014 started few days ago.

I managed to catch up with the reading during my confinement (months ago). Yer lah, I was more relaxed this time around and didn't fret much bout the baby and whatnot, so I was able to read more.

Done with the entire book haul - those that I bagged during the previous BBW - so I'm now reduced to re-read some of my favourite stash. Sungguh kesian. I can actually remember some of the lines now.

So yea, must get myself there sometime this week, during the weekdays of course. I still have some days off to spare, so why not?

C***'s not interested in going, so I guess that I'm on my own - which is fine, I'll take it as a me-time, yes?

My weekend was pretty eventful, got a call early on Saturday morning from an aunt, asking whether I (or should I say, C***) could help her daughter with her car - which was stranded in a workshop somewhere. he he. I don't know sh*t about car, but yea, fret not, my other half was around to the rescue.

Went to pick up the little cousin at her campus sometime after 11am. Off we went to the workshop and C*** decided to let the mechanic proceed with the fixes, after all it was nothing major else he'd prefer to tow the car else where. The mechanic even promised to deliver the car back to the campus once he's done with the car.

So all good tho it's funny that they even had to ask,pretty formally at that, like if I could be of any help, I'd be glad to help in any way I can. Nama pon family. That's what family is for kan?

We later went for a quick groceries shopping and a quick pizza lunch (since I've been telling C*** that I wanted to have fresh-from-the-oven pizza, instead of the usual take-out pizza). Stocked up on fruits and veges. Grapes, gold kiwi, persimmon, plums, apricots, pears and pomegranate. Some for us and some to be pureed for the baby. I even bought a gigantic aloe vera leaf - which I'm yet to cut up and turn into something that I've been wanting to eat, aloe vera gel + white fungus + longan.

Made my version of mee goreng mamak for dinner using the leftover kuah satey from the day before - yea, a mee goreng is not mamak enough if it's sans the kuah kacang. C*** managed to polish off like 3 plateful of em, and instead of thanking me for the meal, he was like "Lepas ni jangan masak sedap sangat, boleh? Nanti saya gemuk awak bising.". Well, you're welcome darling. *roll eyes* 

On Sunday, I woke up early to make us a pasta lunch. I love to slow cook my beef bolognese as I'd usually use the lean minced meat, it's a bit dry without all the fat so I personally like to simmer it a wee bit longer, say 1-2 hours . I was done with the sauce before we went out to stock up on the fishes and poultry. Bought the usual stuff and a little bit more.

Came back home, loaded up the washing machine, ate lunch, golek-golek a bit with the kids. Watched tv. Made cucur udang for tea. C*** then reheated the leftover mee goreng (yea, ada another portion in the fridge) with the addition of cucur udang. "Baru la mamak betul " katanya.

I think that I'm married to a mamak Melaka.


T____T

Sebab dah beli ikan, had to cook a full course dinner but it was nothing complicated.

Sorted out C***'s uniforms and later had to 'entertain' the little highness who refused to sleep even after countless direct feed. He eventually slept at 11.30PM. Great. I was already half asleep.

Haih, tak sabaq nak pi shopping buku.

of.stress-free.&.me.

It's Friday and instead of having a stress-free mind to mark the end of the weekdays, I'm having it otherwise.

I stumbled into a dead end, dah tak tau nak debug macam mana dah. I googled for ideas,dive into the usual Java forums, checked on everything, every single line of the blardy code and everything seems to be right and yet, it refused to work - on my machine and only on my machine.

T_______T

Working with something that I have almost nada control of, lagi lah tak membantu.

So let's just listen to boss - "Leave it at that, the ghost gonna be gone on Monday, work on it again next week."

 Rightt.

*sighs*

I also forgot to bring my cellphone to work *bangs head on table*, so I can't channel my stress else where, nak meroyan kat bff ka, nak cuci mata kat ig ka? Can you imagine how devastating is this for me? ha ha.

Devastating la sangat.

Stress aside, I had a good lunch with Zue on Wednesday, her treat. Picked her up at the office and headed to Mid Valley for lunch. The last time we met was probably 2 months ago, but this friend of mine, no matter how long is the gap since our last meet up, we'll pick up where we left off. It's amazing to see how far we've come.

Absolutely something that I'm thankful for. :)

On another lighter note, the little one somehow ruined one of my favourite pots 2 days ago (how did it happen, is a mystery to me), so I had a quick trip to IKEA yesterday for a replacement. Instead of buying a single pot, I bought a set of pots and pan on sale instead - since IKEA is having their 24 days before Xmas countdown thingy - the cookware set happened to be the offer of the day, so instead of RM219, I bagged it up for RM149.

It's the heavy, thick and sturdy type from their IKEA 365+ series, so I guess that it's not too shabby eh?


Hopefully it gonna be sturdy enough to endure the daily use - since I'm not planning to invest on expensive cookwares just yet - not until we move into the new house, which is probably another year or two more to go - so we just gonna survive on the exisiting Tefals and these new addition to my cookware family.

Yea, I can actually write about work and periuk, all at the same time. Makcik-makcik sangat.

Happy weekend, I'm going to drag C*** to hunt for baklava.

Fresh, crunchy and mildly sweet baklava. :P

of.dream ride.&.me.

As I was blog-hopping yesterday, came across a blog and the blogger wrote about how our people would value someone based on stuff that they own.

Hafta admit that in our society these days, owning a big shiny car seems to be the benchmark. The bigger, the newer, the better, yes?

Like yea, kereta kau cabuk jer, you must be doing poorly in your life. Tengok jiran sebelah, he just got himself a new ride, he must be earning tonnes.

Seriously? How shallow can you be?

I'm going to tackle this based on my perception. Take it from me, I've been working my ass off for the past 6 years, and all that I own is a locally made car whilst my baby brother, who just started working less than 2 years ago, got himself a better ride than mine. Heck, he could get 2 of mine with the price of his.

Does it mean that he's doing better financially than me? No.

Do I mind?

Honestly, not so much. Tipu la tak kisah langsung. ha ha.

Yea, I mind the fact that I couldn't get my hands on my dream ride despite all the hard work and it's not due to the financial constraint - but largely due to the fact that I'm married to a very practical guy.

Do you get the feeling of finally being able to afford something but eventually not having the luxury to own it?

Like, duit dah cukup seringgit ni nak beli ice cream pelangi, tapi you just have to stop yourself because your parents told you that it's bad for you and you're better off with a bottle of water - which is a cheaper and a healthier option altogether.

That's probably not the most awesome example, but that's about it.

I also mind the fact that I didn't get to own my dream ride because someone talked me out of it - since I love good cars - not because I bother bout what people would think.

So yea, go ahead and get yourself a husband who works for a car manufacturer, you'll ended up with a car from his company instead - with staff's discount of course. he he.

Not like it's an entirely bad thing, as I don't have to bother much bout the scheduled maintenance (got discount some more, what's not to love about discount, I am a cheapskate, remember?), warranty issues and whatnot , he'll sort it out for me, happily, I hope.

The ride is also pretty easy on my paycheque. It gets me to work - less than 50km back and forth everyday and that's about it.

I just need a car for work and that's what my other half got me. A practical car for work. Nothing more, nothing less - as we already have an MPV for balik kampung and another small car for the other half to drive to work.

So yea, whilst I didn't get to own my dream car (yet) due to the other half's numerous practical reasoning, at least takde lah menyakitkan hati (sangat). :P

Does it mean that I'm doing poorly? From a shallow perspective, yes. Keje dah bertahun, bawak keta tu jerrrr? Kata makcik sebelah rumah.

Well, not saying that I'm that super either. At the rate I'm going, I wouldn't be able to get myself a Panamera even if I wanted to. ha ha. Tak agak-agak. Mind you, it's not the dream car that I wanted to get my hands on previously, of course la I is sedar diri. Mimpi ku masih jejak di bumi lagi, belum sampai ke langit. I'm realistic just like that.

Anyway, since I have the power to choose, I chose to listen to the other half reasoning and set my priorities straight and put my money on a house instead ( the monthly installment itself is triple the amount that I have to pay for the car, why la rumah is so freaking expensive these days, you either pay a lot for a good one nearby the city or for a modest payment, dapat la a good one tapi located jauh gila tak tercapai akalku. *sighs* ) - so I'm doing fine, I guess.

So yea, instead of the usual biar papa asal bergaya, let's go with biar nampak papa, asal kaya, yes?

P/S: My definition of kaya in not solely based on monetary value, there's more to richness of life besides moolah, if you know what I mean. :)

of.quiet weekend.&.me.

I'm so tired today.

Woke up early to sort out C***'s uniform. Yea, I was too lazy to do the ironing yesterday, in fact, any day pon malas. C*** owes me a new freaking iron. Ironing with a temperamental iron (yang not to mention dah makan 2 of my fav shawls,grrr grrr) is a pain in the big behind. Yes, mine has rivaled those of Kim Kardashian. Thank you very much.

The weekend was pretty relaxing to my standard - what with the gloomy cold weather, we stayed home except for a trip to the laundry shop and a quick groceries shopping on Sunday to stock up on organics stuff for the little highness, fresh milk, cereals, eggs, fruits, veges, ya know the usual.

I initially thought that I'd like to have a quick breakfast out on Sunday, even managed to pester C*** to agree on it, but I ended up making a batch of cekodok kentang instead (C*** even came up to me saying "Kata nak breakfast luar?"  Sorry hon, I changed my mind) - ya know, when I'm feeling pretty rational, I'd rather stay home whilst munching on cekodok dipped in chili sauce instead of trying to stuff my face with roti canai (laju-laju, I might add) whilst trying to soothe a screaming baby at a mamak place.

Thinking of it pon mak dah rasa penat nak. Tunggu next weekend la pulak, I'll probably change my mind. I'm pretty fickle minded just like that.

Managed to satisfy my craving for bubur gandum and iced matcha latte.

Made the former for tea and the latter before dinner. Low fat milk, matcha powder and brown sugar/honey - basically all that you need for an awesome dose of matcha latte. I'd usually use my Herbalife shaker to make this, yer lah, mak takde cocktail shaker nak, apetah lagi milk frother and the sort.

You just need to dissolve the matcha powder in a wee bit of hot water and add in the rest of the ingredients together with the ice cubes and shake. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, yes?

No more store bought matcha latte for me. I'm better off spending my money on something I can't make and sometimes, won't - sebab malas. he he. Are you with me? :P

of.favourite.&.me.

Myra is currently in the I-want-to-eat-KFC-owh-so-good everyday phase.

When we went out for Johnny rocket lunch the previous weekend, she refused the food that we offered and requested for owh-so-good instead - so we, the loving parents, had to walk from Avenue K to KLCC to hunt for her KFC.

T_______T

Only to realize that the particular outlet is no longer where it used to be, like yea, KFC never made it to our list whenever we decided to dine in KLCC, mana la nak perasan dah berubah tempat. On 2nd thought, I did notice that it has gone missing from the former location ever since the renovation, but couldn't be bothered to check on its latest where about, after all, sapa la nak pi KLCC semata-mata nak makan KFC? he he.

So if you saw a couple with 2 kids looking pretty bewildered last weekend, yeah, that was us.

Anyway, we looked around for the digital directory thingy and found one which didn't even work so we had to approach the concierge instead to ask about the latest whereabout (pelik sungguh rasanya pi concierge tanya kat mana KFC, like excuse me, may I know where's the KFC? Abang concierge pon terkelip-kelip mata nak jawab), we were then directed to the end of the building, so we made our way there, all the while thinking

"Owh KFC dah relocate kat hujung ni, baguih, mesti takde orang ni" 

Again, only to be welcomed by a surprisingly full to the brim outlet, in another word, overwhelming crowd, manusia berpusu-pusu macam setahun tak jumpa KFC. Those crowd are probably parents with kids wanting to eat KFC, just like us.


*sighs*
 
Demi mu anak, ku turutkan jua. C*** had to queue for what seemed like forever. Myra got her KFC meal. End of the story.

This week, she asked for em again so C*** bought em for dinner last night. She happily polished up a quarter plate of rice with the chicken -  tho she already had a bowl of pasta earlier and sometime after the KFC meal, she asked me to open a pack of mini biscuits which she also managed to finish up.

Tak makan ke kau kat school nak?

Okay, fine. I'm not complaining, as long as she's eating, I'm over the moon dah, better than having to pry her mouth open so that I could shove in the food.

Whatever makes you happy lah nak, no matter how sick I am of those coveted chicken, nanti suruh daddy beli lagi.

Sincerely,
Mak yang dah tak lalu owh-so-good.

of.31.&.me.

My other half turned 31 yesterday.

Yea, contrary to popular belief, he's just a year older than I am. :P

Tho I am absolutely into older looking guy thing, me on the other hand, would prefer to look 20-ish forever. Thank you very much.

Just like the previous special occasion (read: our anniversary, my birthday's a public holiday so we didn't get to go out on a date.Bohooo.) - we'd try to take a day off from work for a day out, just the two of us!

Yea, I know, getting excited over a day out sans the kids sounds pretty lame, but it's not something that we get to do often - so hell ya, I'm excited. That doesn't make me sound like a bad mom right? I'm someone's other half first before I'm even a mom, so yea, I have to entertain my other half for a bit.

Moving on, our day started off with doses of hot and fluffy roti canai for breakfast. It's a blissful start, bukan selalu boleh makan relax-relax while sipping on ice cold milo, more often than not, we're most likely the sought after contestant of sapa makan laju, dia menang (lepas tu take turn pegang the baby) contest. The simplest nikmat in life kan? :P

We later dropped off our ride for a wash whilst we had our usual stroll at the The Curve. Hand in hand just like one of those pre-kids days.

Managed to try on shoes and whatnot without fretting about the kids. We skipped the idea of catching a movie - so we roamed IKEA, sorted out C***'s mobile issue at the Maxis centre and after going in and out of 1001 stores later, we went to Marche for lunch.

Ordered pepperoni pizza, baked pasta, grilled chicken chop, baked potato, mushroom soup, 3 glasses of juice, a cup of coffee and Belgian waffles for dessert in the span of hmpp...2 hours.


It was raining outside, so we took our time with the food but we couldn't finish the dessert and we even had to tapau the baked potato. #terlebihmakannakmuntah


It's probably true that the older you get, the lesser food you eat. Punya la seksa nak abiskan, before the lunch , I even told C*** that I wanted to drag him for chai latte afterward, but since we're so stuffed, mak insaf.

When the rain stopped, we made our way back home. Sempat lah singgah the dim sum factory in Kepong to stock up on our favourite food. Bought 3 different type of siew mai.We even had a quick visit to FM to stock up on the kids night diapers (kalau dah mak bapak tu, mak bapak jugak, balik dating beli diapers. How romantic.).

We picked up Myra up from school, balik rumah. The end.

How's that for an ending? :P

Well, happy birthday love, here's to many more wiser years to come. I'm not big on words, but you do know all the puke-inducing details right? he he. Kiss kiss. ♥

of.thinking out loud.&.me.

It has been ages since the last time I posted a lyric of my favourite song - something that I keen to do during my yesterday years, you know, when I'm young and all that, tho not like I'm old.

I'm just 30 ya know? 30 is the new 20, or so I heard.

*clears throat*

Anyway, this hafta be my favourite of the moment. I can actually listen to it, in an endless loop on Spotify at work.

Please don't mind the cheesy-ness, I am, after all a cheesy, hopelessly, wait for it, romantic soul.

 *roll eyes*

Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud

When your legs don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Well, me—I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am

So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings the same way
I know you will still love me the same

'Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen
And, baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory
I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan
Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand

But, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
Thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

So, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are
Oh, baby, we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are
We found love right where we are, yes?

of.reminder.&.me.

Sometimes we tend to think that we probably gonna be happier with 5 kids instead of 2, if we have a bigger house to live in, a bigger and shinier car, a new designer handbag (I haven't bought a new one in the past 6 months *pat own shoulder*) , 10000MYR extra to spend every month, an idyllic husband/wife  - ya know, the what-ifs.

Being exposed to the endless parades in the social medias everyday - it's not hard to be reminded that we don't have the best of the best. TAPI..sila la bersyukur, somewhere out there, someone is actually praying for something that you own (and not to mention, taken for granted).

Sure I don't get to enjoy a 30 minutes shower or a frequent visit to the spa or sleep in during the weekend or having to think of what to cook for breakfast/lunch/dinner tho I'm dead tired or pack a bag for a quick getaway whenever I feel like it because I have 1001 stuff to consider - but I'm taking those as a constant reminder that at the end of the day, I have the kids and C*** to come home to and tonnes of stuff to be thankful for and that makes all the different.

Then which of the favours of your Lord will you deny?

Kan?

Moving on,

I gained like 1.5kg (& C*** lost 4kg).

T______T

THAT my friend, is me being too comfortable. The luxury of daily snacking on cekodok pisang (what not to love bout crispy diluar, lembut di dalam cekodok pisang?), iced barley drink for lunch and owh, the occasional iced Milo. 

In the spirit of keeping my weight way below 60kg, I shall put a stop to that.

Sekian, terima kasih.

of.5AM.&.me.

Woke up at 5am this morning.

Naah,I'm not really a morning person.My usual time is around 6.30am when C***'s getting ready for work.

So yea, I slept at 9pm last night. Besides the slight interruptions of getting up to nurse the little one, I slept like a baby. Woke up this morning feeling so fresh so cool - the good sleep is probably what I needed.

Managed to get tonnes of stuff done. Cleaned and sterilized the storage bottles. The first pumping session for the day. Cooked up a fresh batch of brown rice porridge. Sorted out the frozen EBM in the freezer. Sorted out Shariq's EBM and solids. Packed Myra's school bag. Did some ironing. Made breakfast for Myra.

Made breakfast for myself too - since I have to finish up the greens in the fridge before they wilt - whipped up a mix salad with hard boiled egg for breakfast topped with my favourite honey mustard dressing. I was tempted to dump in a handful of pomegranate seeds, tapi malas.

The simple salad sans dressing.

The dressing is to die for and soooo easy to make - just whisk together honey, mustard -I'd usually go for wholegrain mustard, olive oil and a wee bit of apple cider vinegar/lemon juice. Cepat dibuat, sedap dimakan. Kalau malas whisk, dump em all together in a jar and shake. Good with roasted chicken or baked fish too. Sila buat. :P

On a lighter note, the work trip that's supposed to be on going this month, is probably gonna be a no-go - due to a financial constraint of the other entity.

If you ask me, honestly, mak lega nak. I couldn't bear to think of leaving the little one. Nak tidoq siang without me pon susah (yea, he hardly sleeps when he's at home with nenek, kalau kat rumah dengan mummy, tidoq lama gila okeh). Ni kan pulak during nighttime? Mengagau la daddy nak bagi susu bila bangun tengah malam. he he. Owh, I should probably travel kan? Then he'll know what midnight nursing is all about. Kidding hon. :P

Yea, it's a bad news career-wise, gone are the opportunity to travel abroad for work - but heck, that's not what my entire life is all about.

What will be, will be. Yes? :)

of.random thoughts (again).&.me.

I just watched a video posted on FB - of a baby/toddler being force fed - it made me sick to my stomach.

Rasa macam nak tampaq the maid/helper laju-laju - I reckon it's not the mom, mak jenis apa kalau dok bagi makan anak macam tu? Tu bukan mak,tu raksaksa.  What if the little girl chokes? Oih, panas mata and hati ni tengok.

If it were my kid, I'd tear her limb from limb. Sick sick world we live in.

On a lighter note, the parents are going back to Kedah this weekend - after 2 months. Dad is doing well, Alhamdulillah. He's capable of walking on his own these days, with a cane of course - tho I reckon it gonna take a while before he's back to his old self, what with the talking and all that.

I'm going to miss seeing them everyday. Going to their place after work has been our routines for the past 2 months - in fact Myra has been so used to it that she'd cry if we do not make the trip to 'rumah tok hotel'.

Again, I wish that Kedah is not 4 hours drive away. A girl(girl?) can wish kan?


On another lighter note, we're yet to look for Myra's new shoes for her annual concert this weekend. A new cute shoes and a pair of white tights to compliment her Elsa dress.(Yeah, Frozen fever is still here.) Owh, she probably need a cute little crown headband too. Omak kau pulak yang lebih nak. 

My rock chic little girl gonna be all girlish, prim and proper for a change. Truth is, I'm not too big on super girlish dresses and whatnot, not that I'm turning my girl into a tomboy but ya know, fancy dresses in a country like ours = sticky mess. I'd like my girl to be able to run and jump and do whatever she pleases (within acceptable limit of course), after all she's just a kid.  

Tak payah la nak duduk keras macam mannequin dengan kaki bersilang segala. I used to be an adventurous kid myself, panjat pokok(yup, I used to be able to climb, seeing me now, rasa macam impossibru! ), masuk longkang tangkap berudu, ulat gonggok, lizard, big fat green caterpillars(which scares the living daylight out of me these days) and I ended up just fine tho of course, I'm not as fearless as I was before. Ulat? No thank you.

So yea, more cute tops with jeans/pants/legging and practical summer dresses please.

Haih, I'm really going to miss seeing my parents everyday.

It's time to plan for a trip back up North yes?

of.local zoo.&.me.

Ever since our last trip to the zoo (Melaka) weeks ago - I didn't write much about it since it's not a good one, but don't mind me, go ahead and enjoy your trip - especially if you like rusa/deer. Rusa titik, rusa belang, rusa putih, rusa hitam. All sort of rusa. I wondered whether we're actually in a zoo or a deer farm. Must be pretty easy to rear them ey? They are edible too right? he he.

I disgress.

Anyway, Myra has been wanting to drag us for another zoo trip and it's yet to be materialized tho zoo negara is just like 10 minutes away from our place - depending on the MRR2 traffic of course.

The last time we went to the zoo (negara) was probably more than a year ago, when she was around 2y/o. Honestly, I love animals to bits. Seeing them, especially those cute and cuddly ones are pretty awesome, but, yeah there's a but, the animals in (most of) our local zoo(s) adelah menyedihkan and at some point, the zoo seems to be ill-managed (don't get me started on the semak samun and all that, owh the zoo adelah infested with tonnes of mosquitoes too).

I don't know whether the local zoo cannot cope financially or anything along that line or it's just purely due to bad management - that leads to unending pathetic-ness of our zoo(s).

Yea, I'm not sure how much is the entrance fee these days, but I reckon it's around MYR30? (Used to buy those tickets for less from Groupon) MYR30 is good money for a cheapskate like me. I could get me 3 power size juice from Juiceworks or a quart of Baskin Robin's ice cream on the 31st! he he. :P

So yea, we'll find somewhere kids-friendly to go next, a petting zoo perhaps?


Myra : "Mummy, nanti daddy balik work, pegi zoo eh?"
Me : "Okay, kakak nak tengok ape? Lion?"
Myra : "Aha, lion. Elephant."
Me : "Giraffe?"
Myra : "Giraffe and baby giraffe and flamingo."
Me : "Cow?"
Myra : "Cow, leopard, pastu bird."
Me : "Kancil? Rhinoceros?"
Myra: "Rhinoceros. Turtle. Hippopotamus."
Me : "Tiger?"
Myra : "Tiger and monkey. "
Me: "Semut?"
Myra : "Mummy ni, semut kat rumah dia, bukan dekat zoo." *laughs her head off at me*
Me : "Okaaay kakak, pig?"
Myra : "Pig tanak, nak tengok peppa pig jer" *makes oink2 sound"
Me : T_____T "Okay."

eXTReMe Tracker