I've been meaning to update on the kids' milestones this week, but I've been busy working on the Thai's project FSD and whatnot.

Whilst I was going through the office mail this morning, got a call from the boss and when his opening line sounded like this

"I don't know whether this is a good or a bad news.."

I know whatever news that I'm about to hear won't be pretty.

So yea, another bump on the Thai's project, it seems like it's going to be postponed yet again, this time, well into 2016.

Honestly, I'm quite pissed off.

Simply because I've put so much efforts into it and it's annoying to stop half way. I just wanna get it over it.

Like seriously, I've put my mind into it ever since the boss told me that traveling is inevitable for me this time around.

Nope, not because I'm looking forward to all the traveling - yes, I want to travel far this year, but traveling for work is not really what I have in mind - but in all honesty, I've been preparing myself mentally for the work and travel.

I've been telling myself not to fret much about the kids, especially the wee one who's still a BF baby (don't let me start about BF whilst traveling). I've been telling myself that I'll lug the entire family with me, so that I won't be alone and worried in a foreign city.

Ya know, I've been telling myself a whole lots of thing.

So when you finally got a good grip of yourself, datang pulak this dreaded news, I don't know whether I should be sad or happy. *shrugs*

Some might go, "Kecoh jer lebih, pegi siam jer pon?" .

May I remind you that it's not the distance which bugs the hell outta me, but the thought of leaving the kids behind and even if I were to drag the entire household along with me, C*** hafta take some time off from work (the trip is 5-days long, times 2), MIL hafta come along too etc.

Nampak domino effect di situ?

It's not as easy as " Okay, I'm off now, see you in 5 days!".

Like it doesn't feel right to leave them under the care of the other half and the MIL whilst I'm working thousands miles away. Sure, nothing is wrong with that, nobody bats an eye when the husband is away for work (or not), why should it be any different when it comes to me kan?

True, but it just doesn't feel right to me. It doesn't feel right to let them shoulder those tasks that are initially mine, like preparing food for the kids, especially the baby and let's not talk about EBM, my other half know pretty much nothing (something that I'm not proud of, now that we're parents of two) and MIL only knows how to warm up the EBM that I've prepared. So yeah, it doesn't feel right to put them through all the hassle so that I'd get to travel for work.

I feel guilty enough having MIL at our place to take care of the baby whilst we're at work, ni nak tinggal for a few days lagi lah...pffff..

My sick sick conscience.

Ha ha. How's that for a mom's dilemma?

I'm not judging those jet-setter mommies who doesn't seem to have any issue traveling the world, I probably wouldn't make a big fuss out of this someday, especially when my kids are older.

Who knows?

To each, their own yes?

So yea, let's not complicate things any further, as for now, I'd just move on and be happy. :P

Enough of my rambling. Happy (long) weekend!