| | |.of.escapism.&.me.| | |

Not feelin well since 2 days back.Feelin all hot and bothered - now Im surely gonna be deadly happier when it rains.

Owh someone just warned me not to go out dancin in the rain,coz I dissolves in water. Gah gah..how flatterin is that? *roll eyes*

Well,I kinda lost the urge to write since I got back home,perhaps its true that writing is my ultimate escapism from depression. :)

Im off.Tata.

| | |.of.speechless.&.me.| | |

I couldnt think of anythin good to write - though somewhere at the back of my mind there are tons of stuff to be poured.

Believe me,I tried.

Well,fear not my dearies.The crappy-me will be back.

Later.

| | |.of.brief.update&.me.| | |

Owh,just a brief update.

Im DONE with the xm!

Im HOME!!! =p

Later!

p/s:Miss me not okie =P

| | |.of.whiny.&.me.| | |

One more kiss could be the best thing
Or one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
Not know what I'm going through

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside
I know, I know
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows, who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go

3 Doors Down - Let Me Go
(note:Call me sappy but I just love this song to bits.Ive been listenin to it for 100 thousands times since last nite. o_O)

Had a big lunch at Secret Recipe with Mun.

Now Im sinfully bloated,another sight of any sort of food will make go "bweeek" for real.hehe!

Well,the 6th paper's great except for the fact that I was sniffin and miserably refrainin myself from blowin my nose off for 2 hours - as much as I hate to have someone with a blardy runny nose sittin next to me durin the wonderful final xm - Im sure there's someone whose been cursin me for being sick and sittin next to them.Forgive me.If only I could take my nose off like MJ,I'll never ever drag it along with me into the xm hall.Serious.

4 days more to go then I'll be back home,a magical thought that will magically make me feelin less pathetic. :P

Ghee..I hate being sick when Im not at home.The only thing that I can do to ease my pain's to whine as much as possible.(note:when Im physically sick,my mental health will somehow plummet too).No wonder Ive been actin like a BIG whiny baby since the past few days eh?.Hee..bear with me aight?I'll be okie dokie soon.InsyaAllah. or else you hafta find a way to cope with the big-whiny-baby-me for the rest of your life!Hows that for a change?hehehe!

Okie Im off.

The big whiny baby me hafta get ready for the next stuff in my things-to-do-for-an-express-relief agenda.

Til then,wish me luck coz I still need em badly,infact desperately.

| | |.of.darlings.&.me.| | |

Just a quick update.

Darlings,

Me luv youuuu!!!!!!

A LOT!!

*hugs*

Abis xm kite gi jalan2 sambil mencomelkan diri okie dearies?

5 down,2 more to go!

BERUSAHALAH!

| | |.of.9.layers.&.me.| | |

Went out with my darlings last nite - for another fattenin dinner.Got back home around 10pm and my head was spinnin,couldnt find any panadol or ape2 yang sewaktu dengannyer though I know I have it in stock somewhere - so I just decided to hit the sack.

Woke up this mornin feelin more or less the same except that my throat hurts - badly.

:(

Jangan la demam sekarang. *cries*

p/s:Btw,I got this 9 layers thingy from Jun.He's been askin me to fill it up since God-knows-when.Here you go buddy.Now stop buggin me.Sheesh.

LAYER ONE

Name: Nur Madihah
Birthdate: Sept 16th 1984
Birthplace: Kedah,Malaysia
Current Location: Jurassic Park,Malaysia
Eye Color: Black
Hair Color: Jet black
Righty or Lefty: Righty!
Sun Sign: Virgo!
Innie or Outtie: A lil bit of both!

LAYER TWO

Your heritage: 100% Malay - I guess.
The shoes you wore today: None.Saya suke berkaki ayam.Thx you. :P
Your hair: Black-ghost-like
Your eyes: Black
Your weakness: Chocolates, cute lil stuff.
Your fears: Losing my mind.
One thing you'd like to achieve: Endless happiness. :)

LAYER THREE

Your most overused phrase on IM: hihihi
Your first waking thoughts:"I hafta be good today", I have it plastered on the ceiling.Muahah!
The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: Eyes or is it the smile?
Your best physical feature: Sadly none. o_O
Your bedtime: Depends,Im nocturnal.
Your greatest accomplishment: Err...lemme recall.
Your most missed memory: Foam party with my cousins.haha!

LAYER FOUR

Pepsi or Coke:Coke - vanilla plz.
McDonald's or Burger King: McD
Single or group dates: Depends.*roll eyes*
Adidas or Nike: Nike.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
Chocolate or vanilla: Both?
Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino.

LAYER FIVE

Smoke: Nope.(Well,I plan to live til 150.Thx you)
Curse: Wtfish.Opss..
Sing: Me love singin to myself (note:Me love rainy days)
Take a shower everyday: Sure.
Have a crush(es): Yea.
Who are they: Brandon boyd,Flippy from HTF.haha! :P
Do you think you've been in love: Lemme recall bout that too.
Like high school:Surely do.
Want to get married: Sure?
Believe in yourself: +ve.
Think you're attractive: Im annoyinly attractive.haha!
Think you're a health freak: Not as long as I can remember.
Get along with your parents: Absolutely,Im a good kid.
Play an instrument:Sadly no.

LAYER SIX: In the past month, did you...

Drink alcohol: Nope.
Smoke: Nope.
Do a drug: Nope.
Go on a date: Well, it depends on what you mean by "date".Ehem.
Eat an entire box of Oreos: Nope.Too much of em make me sick!
Eat sushi: Yea.
Been on stage: Nope.
Been dumped: Nope.
Gone skating: I dont how to skate.Sheeesh.
Made homemade cookies: Nope.
Been in love: God knows.
Gone skinny dipping:Nope.
Dyed your hair: Nope.
Stolen anything: Err..Ive stolen someone's sanity,does it count?

LAYER SEVEN: Have you ever...

Played a game that required removal of clothing: No,never.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Nope.
Been caught "doing something":Define "doing somethin"
Been called a tease: Not really.
Gotten beaten up: Nobody messes with me.Im a MONSTER.
Shoplifted: Nope.
If so, did you get caught: Nope.
Changed who you were to fit in: Nope. What you see is what you get darlin.

LAYER EIGHT

Age you hope to be married: Sure.
Numbers and Names of Children:Urgh..isnt it too early for this?
Describe your Dream Wedding: Errr..romantic?(corny!)
What do you want to be when you grow up: I dont wanna grow up :(
What country would you most like to visit: Err..lemme think.France?

LAYER NINE

Number of guys I have kissed: Err..?
Number of boyfriends you've had: Owh la la..?
Number of drugs taken illegally: None.
Number of people I could trust with my life: Around 11. I am blessed.
Number of CDs that I own: Lemme start counting.
Number of piercings: 2.
Number of tattoos: None.
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper:Once?
Number of scars on my body: I dont count.
Number of things in my past that I regret: None or tryin not to.

| | |.of.peminat.&.me.| | |

At last,4 days of freedom!Ahh..bliss.

So now where's my wonderful date?haha!

Erm..

Gie's birthday is comin tomorrow,but I already sent her a-day-early-coz-I-thought-its-already-April-10th birthday wish. *roll eyes*

Gie:"Ari ni 9th la dd.My bday is on d 10th."

*knocks head*

Better early than never aight dear?hee... (^_^)v

Well,a gurl msged me on my msn msger yesterday.Lookin at the fact that I was bored coz everybody was out-"beronggeng" or simply enjoyin their evenin nap - coz its rainin.Me actually decided to entertain her kiddish questions which range from the-color-that-I-like to what-I-wanna-be-when-I-grow-up.Duh~ (note:she's weirdly-16)

Later,she actually asked for my phone number and I was like,"dont waste ur money on phone calls,get urself some chocs instead dik"

and she was like "I hate chocs but I love you"

*glup*

Wooo..I got myself a PEMINAT,at last!

Blargh!

How wonderful.You made my day.

NOT! :P

Hee..Im off.

Later.

| | |.of.final.xm.&.me.| | |

Dear you,

STOP tickin me off.If you happened to come around and mess up with me again later.I swear that I'll handle it Bush's style - if someone happened to get into your way,mess around with your stuff - wait no more.Kill em!Muahaha!

Err.okie Monster's talkin.

Monster's thingy aside.

Im back!

Ive told ya that I'll be back.Miss me yet?

Well,my final xm for the last sem of Gamma gonna start next week.Aha,next week as in this comin Monday.JOY!

7 papers to go through.How interestin is that?Hafta sit for 5 papers in a row..woo..April 4th - 8th.Wonderful eh?Thats exactly what I need to add up to my I-already-feel-like-dying life.+ve.Owh..right after the 5 days of misery,there's gonna be a looooong GAP -6 days to be exact - which shall be spent wisely.Ehem!

Neway,thx for all the luck and wishes.Yea,hopefully I'll be able to get through everythin without faintin or turnin into a mad dog dinosaur or somethin.Gah gah.Keep it comin aight?

Erm..

Many thx and apologies to you-surely-know-who-you-are and if you dont,there's aint no way that Im goin to spell it out.As you know,I could be quite a pain in the a$$ and pretty annoyin sometimes.I just cant help it.Im really sorry.Honest - Ive been livin like this for the past 3 years.It's like a path without a turnin point.You can either stop and suffer or just move on.Uh..crap

What a gurl to do eh?

Hee..Im off!

Time to activate the nerd-mode.

Later!

| | |.of.errr??.&.me.| | |

You are so tempting my dear
You strip away my useless fears
No you don't care that I'm weird
And that's amazing yeah

Why that hafta sound sooo familiar? :
Neway,its still rainin outside.Cats and dogs.

A week to go before the final xm.

3 blardy wonderful assignments to be submitted.

2 excitin presentations more to go.Wah wah..bahagienye.

Another bank-robbery to be planned.Me need another 8k by May.Heehoo!
(Note:Sesape yg duit lebey tu,derma lah kat me.Me sgt desperate ni.Serious. :|)

Owh,another friendly reminder.

Enough of those dont-forget-to-eat reminder thingy.Dont worry darlings,Ive been eatin well since Mun is around - you can actually tell that Ive been tellin the truth just by lookin at my scary face.Honest.

Im off.

Time to finish up all those owh-so-wonderful assignments.

Fear not my love.I shall return. :P

| | |.of.eppy.&.me.| | |

It was rainin cats and dogs earlier today.Alhamdulillah.What a bliss. :D

Well,went out with my darlings yesterday for our desperately-needed dose of retail therapy.Managed to spend some of the hard-earned cash while heedin my Dad's magical words in mind - which magically made me feel less quilty.

A new thing or two wouldnt hurt right Dad?But I got myself..err..2..or maybe 3 or..4 new stuff? Ampun.

Roxy bag.
I-dont-know-why-I-bought-it-but-it-looks-kinda-cute bracelets.
Bunch of cds.
A shirt.

Plus..

Fattylicious lunch at Dave's Deli and sushi for dinner.

Now Im feelin better.Infact,much much more better.(Even though someone forgot to wish me well for ages.Gah gah gah.Saye dah xkisah lagi) :D

Hee..though Im feelin berbunga-bunga and all rainbow-ish inside,some of the people that I know happened to be feelin all whiny and miserable today - my whiny virus dah berpindah rumah nampaknye.

"Me demam :("
"Sis,Im bored.Humor me"
"Uwaa...akak..yada yada"
"Dear,Im fcukin sick x-)"

Err..Sabar yer semua. Everythin gonna be okie dokie soon.Sooner or later.

Take a chill pill.

Tenyum cikit. :D

Jom titun. T_T

Nite.

| | |.of.under.the.weather.&.me.| | |

Feelin a lil bit under the weather today,so was everybody.It must have been the misty murky-I-feel-like-faintin air.I was desperately waitin for a miracle,a sudden downfall.Tapi xde pon :(

Erm..today hafta be the be-good-and-duduk-rumah-dediam day kerana saya telah duduk rumah dengan mithalinye hari ini,lunch & dinner pon ade org yang belikan.Baik kan saya?

Heee..apart of my being the mithali one today,I actually think that my trichotillomania is gettin worse,I hafta do somethin about it before I ended up with a bald-shiny-mirror-like head.Owh well,2nd thought - whats the fuss?My tudung is always there to the rescue.So who knows aight?Shhhh... :P

Woooo..so whuts next?

Owh..

Well,Fada called for no particular reason like always.*suprise suprise* Told me that Im the second best thing on the list after Gie.haha!How flatterin bro.Im glad that Im the runner up,coz its gonna be really fishy if Im the first(jeng je jeng :P) - heedin the fact that she's ur gf and Im pet sis AND yea,I miss you too - though I surely dont feel like tellin you that as much as I do to Gie.It surely sounds so blardy a lil bit weird and I actually suprised myself by sayin that.(Note:that hafta be my super-frank evil twin).hehe!If being frank only gives you a heart attack,I'll never ever repeat that again.Promise.

Ey..wait a sec,talkin about that frankly thingy - why does it sounds so normal when it comes to you,Gie and everybody?Why does it hafta be all weird and wrong when it comes to me? :
Utterly weird.

*shrugs*

Ermm..just a thought.

Perhaps from this moment on,I should be more self-centered since too much of considerin,toleratin,missin,thinkin bout someone else rather than myself doesnt really bring me any good,be it for now or the near future.

Dont you think?

that i would be grand, even if i'm not all-knowing
that i would be loved, even when i'm not myself
that i would be good, even when i'm overwhelmed

| | |.of.more.than.words.&.me.| | |

Sayin I love you..
Its not the words I want to hear from you
Its not that I want you
Not to say,but if you only knew how easy
It would be to show me how you feel..
(Translation:Sangat senang,contoh yang terbaik -siapkan those blardy wonderful assignments for me.)

More than words
Is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
'Cause I'd already know
(Translation:Assigments dah siap?Sayang me?Dah agak dah.I knew it!)

Sheesh...

Suke betul menghilang when Im feelin so blardy crappy.Owh,sukenye dier kat saya. T_T

*sob sob*

Im touched.Terharu.

Rase sangat disayangi. o_O

p/s:Its the maniac Monday.Have fun my love.

| | |.of.memories.&.me.| | |

All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments imagine you here.
All of my memories keep you near.
Your silent whispers, silent tears.


Its almost 5am,and Im still wide awake.

All these endless assignments are takin its toll on me.

Sleepless nite.
Panda's eyes.
Massive headache.
Unexpected mood swing.

You name it,I got it.

Earlier today,Tila told me that Im being selfish,Tedd told me that Im insensitive.

Well dearies,its a bit frustratin to hear that from both of you,though I bet you know why I do these things that I do.

Im hurt,rather than annoyed.Suprised,really.

Anyway,thx for telling.

What's better than a bunch of honest dearies aight?

p/s:Dear,thx for being insensitive too.

| | |.of.new.week.&.me.| | |

Back from my fattenin weekend - thx to my beloved couz - to the ever-so-wonderful-hectic week in JP.

Gonna sit for Com Audit test tomorrow,and TKM test on the next day.Almost 13 chaps to be covered for both of the subjects and Im done with none.hoho!

That hafta be the ultimate sign of a good student.No doubt. o_O

Owh,the acceptance test for software engin thingy is comin this week too and the best part of it - we are not even near to finish.Tralalala..

Erm..

My dad is somewhere in KL right now,attendin his tourism thingy.Kinda miss him regardless the fact that he call me up almost everyday and hopefully he gonna come over and drop me some extra bucks for shopping me to survive in JP coz my cash is runnin low and I hate goin to the ATM.I hate the long queue and lookin at the balance of $$$ in the account only trigger the thought of gettin a partner for a bank-robbery.

T_T

Sape wanna be my partner in crime?Angkat tangan.

Well Im off..

Hafta get ready for my 4 hours class.

Hafta get ready to face another interestin week.

Hafta get ready to be all mad and bothered.

Later!

p/s:You sing to me and its harmony.

| | |.of.GodKnowsWhut.2.&.me.| | |

Mintak nyawa!

Argh..life is soo..dead,lifeless.

Im feelin more or less like a computerized thingy since there's no space for all those crazy spontaneous stuff anymore.

*shivers*

Where's the fun of it when you can actually list out all the stuff that gonna happen daily? - hour by hour,minute by minute.

*shrugs*

I am...

so glued,

so busy of being sick of all these wonderful-endless stream of assignments.The more I work on it,the more they grow.

My antidote to this lifeless life is still missin.

My you-are-not-supposed-to-be-cavalier-coz-I-need-you-to-understand dearie surely doesnt make things better for me.

Someone think that I need a good fix in the head.

Gosh..

Owh,Did I tell you that I went out to catch a movie with my darlings 2 days back?Its the Lemony Snicket thingy.I SKIPPED a class for that.hoho!

Well..hows the movie?

Its cute,heart-warming.It tickles me to the bones.

It inspires me...

Inspires me to burn up the campus that is.

T_T

The madness tsunami is comin.

*runs*

| | |.of.GodKnowsWhut.&.me.| | |

Ive tried to be good.

Ive tried to knock some sense into that super-smart head of yours.

Ive tried to show you that I actually care.

Ive tried to be forgiving.

But..thx for stayin under that I-couldnt-careless-blankie of yours.

Thx for telling me that Ive been wasting my time for nothin,much appreciated.

Ive tried and Im done.

Well dear,we just can't win em all,can we?

| | |.of.today.&.me.| | |

Im tired..

The final xm is comin within a month but I still have 3 test and 5 assignments to be submitted.

*cries*

When on earth am I goin to start studyin for my blardy final xm?

*shrugs*

Well...

Still couldnt figure out bout how to make all those unlogical prolog program thingy to work.

Still havent finish studyin for the DSS quiz.

Hee..and this stupid ulcer is killin me.

Went out with Mr.Boolat(bukan name sebenar) earlier today for the ultimate adventure of finding the purrrfect jeans - but ended up with nothin since Mr.Boolat is too boolat for those jeans.Opss...Psst..pstt..I had a great time bullying you and owh..jgn lupe,banyak lagi mende dlm things-to-eat list yg lum di mamam :P

Tonite,supposed to go out with my fellow u-r-my-sunshine,to celebrate Kayla's birthday - but we ended up sittin in the room,chattin while kutuk-ing each other since we most of us were too tired.Jaded.

How bout esok? :P

Okies?Alritey.Keje berlonggok2 pun ade ati nak kuar lagi.tsk tsk.

Hee..Im off.Need to be all refreshed for those boring exicitin classes tomorrow.*

*Provided that I could find the right way to drag myself out of the bed - after not gettin a decent sleep for few days in a row. O_o

| | |.of.hatred.&.me.| | |

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shoulda' never come around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand

Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

Papa Roach - Scars

I hate you for doin this to me.

x_X

| | |.of.beloved.mummy.&.me.| | |

Happy birthday Mummy.

Though there's no cheesy poem,

no heart-meltin pink card,

no eyes-blindin-glitterin brooch to add up to your huge collection like always.

Me still love you much.

Promise.

| | |.of.March.&.me.| | |

March!

Mum's birthday is comin within 3 days,but I still couldnt find the right time to get her a card or somethin.Tsk tsk..

All those assignments,reports and endless test are killin me and my antidote to this sickenin JP's life is missin. *cries*

Ehem..enough of the pathetic-ness.

Er...

Owh,I actually think that Ive been spendin too much time on YM.All those emoticons are hauntin me.

Look,its even on my food.

T_T I prefer the tongue smiley but I wasnt artistic enough,so a smiley will do.

And thx to Kayla,we got to spend sometime to play a barbie or two..or..err..4? :P
















Urgh..another CF meetin tonite,Im off!

P/s:Antidote WANTED,call me ASAP.*sob sob*