♥of.prayer.&.me.♥

Ya Allah,

Please let them know how much it means to me.

Please don't let them be worried.

Please give me some space to satisfy my own curiosity.

Please just let me be.

Mon Dieu, please...aidez moi.

♥of.pwl.&.me.♥

Just a photo,



a lyric

Bintang malam katakan padanya
Aku ingin melukis sinarmu di hatinya
Embun pagi sampaikan padanya
Biar ku dekap erat waktu dingin membelenggunya

Tahukah engkau wahai langit
Aku ingin bertemu membelai wajahnya
Kan ku pasang hiasan angkasa yang terindah
Hanya untuk dirinya

Lagu rindu ini kuciptakan
Hanya untuk bidadari hatiku tercinta
Walau hanya nada sederhana
Ijinkan ku ungkap segenap rasa dan kerinduan

&

an updated wish list.

♥of.24th.&.me.♥

2 days past 24th Nov 2007, C***'s 24th birthday.Bonne Anniversaire mon cher, I hope you had a good one,even if it's not as great as expected. <3

Anyway...

I'm starting my week with a humongous Monday blues and loads of discoveries in hand.What's up with the discoveries? One word, GREAT. Further glorified by moi partner in crime's remarks upon the sharing is caring session.Yea babe,more I think of it,the more I actually think it's an amusing one.Perhaps my lucky star is finally shining. *sparkling eyes*

Tho it may seems like nothing but candy land(for now).Truthfully,it has been a long winding road for me before I finally stumbled and decided to take the path that I'm in. Moi darling knows how I blabber my way through my endless paranoia. It's hard being a newbie in things like these,especially at this age. It makes you feel rather..stupid and pathetically lame.Seriously.

On another note,don't you realize that it's emotionally costly to be all excited and happy without shattering your heart into pieces nowadays? - so be real careful hun, else the next thing ya know, you might find yourself in a padded room wearing a straitjacket.he he.

So lets pray for loads of luck,shall we?

p/s:Ya,I'm a sucker for song with the piano playing on the background thingy. What a gurl to do? :P

♥of.parents.&.me.♥

Yea,unfortunately I'm back.Leaving you with no space to miss me.

Anyway,my dad actually started another series of his I want you to come back and work here at the XXXX MNC company. speech.

It's not like I don't want to,considering all the dough that I might be getting,but the thing is,getting a respectable job that guaranteed a thick dough with the utter help of your beloved father is a turn off for me. It's not like I'm too proud of myself,or that I'm way above the parents pulling all cabel to help their kid to get a good job thingy - which is rather usual these days - BUT just let me be, at least I'll know how $hitty or wonderful my life could be when I'm handling it on my own.

I know they are helping & there's just no way that I'll forget everything that they ever did for me. Their endless love,support and whatnot.BUT somehow (yea another BIG but), it just makes me feel like I'll never be good enough to do things on my own, as if I'll just collapse once they loosen their grips off me,as if I couldn't stand on my own feet.

They want me to be independent,but how could I be when they keep on flustering me on each and every single thing that I do. It's like hoping that your lil one will eventually learn to ride a real bicycle but somehow refuses to take them off the training wheels forever.

*sighs*

I'm grateful to have such parents,I truly do.But at times, it just makes me nauseous.
I don't wanna be an ungrateful child a la Tanggang si anak derhaka. So God help me.Please.

Mon Dieu,aidez moi.

♥of.parents.&.me.♥

Yea,unfortunately I'm back.Leaving you with no space to miss me.

Anyway,my dad actually started another series of his I want you to come back and work here at the XXXX MNC company speech.

It's not like I don't want to,considering all the dough that I might be getting,but the thing is,getting a respectable job that guaranteed a thick dough with the utter help of your beloved father is a turn off for me. It's not like I'm too proud of myself,or that I'm way above the parents pulling all cabel to help their kid to get a good job thingy - which is rather usual these days - BUT just let me be, at least I'll know how $hitty or wonderful my life could be when I'm handling it on my own.

I know they are helping & there's just no way that I'll forget everything that they ever did for me. Their endless love,support and whatnot.BUT somehow (yea another BIG but), it just makes me feels like I'll never be good enough to do things on my own.That I'll just collapse once they take off their steady helping hands of me,as if I can't even stand on my own feet.

They want me to be independent,but how could I be when they keep on flustering me on each and every single thing that I do. It's like hoping that your lil one will eventually learn to ride a real bicycle but somehow refuses to take them off the training wheels forever.

*sighs*

I'm grateful to have such parents,I truly do.But at times, it's just suffocating. I don't wanna be an ungrateful child a la Tanggang si anak derhaka. So God help me.Please.

Mon Dieu,aidez moi.

p/s:Being the only daughter comes with a gigantic hellish price, for me to pay that is.Where's mon petit ami when I need him.

♥of.update.&.me.♥

Brief update:

I'm moving out! Yey me!

Went out with C*** for my pre moving to a new place shopping,bought a bunch of stuff for the new place which is nowhere near to sufficient, so another round of shopping spree is obviously mandatory. A pretty blue curtain and a matching comforter set coming right up.Ehem!

I can't wait for the weekend to come! *grins*

I'm off! Don't miss me :P

♥of.predict.&.me.♥

A friend spontaneously asked whether I think that she's going out with the wrong guy. Being me, I just can't really judge people when I don't personally know them, tho sometimes I do and have to judge them based on the details that were showered on me by the darlings which I absorbed,like a sponge. So she got one of those hope for the best,prepare for the worst answer from me. Case closed.

Then she jokingly asked whether I think that I'm going out with the wrong guy. It's like..AHA! am I?

I don't know hun.I seriously can't tell.

Well,who on earth going to admit or particularly able to see that she/he is with the we're so not meant to be but you just don't know it yet significant others until it's way too late or when everything is literally over?

It's not something we can predict, not when all you can see is candy land.Owh saya tak nampak candy land pon sekarang,wajib ke? Tapi ada sorang cik abang tu yang rasa camtu,cinta itu nampaknya tidak membutakan anda yer,kasi anda nampak memenda yang bukan-bukan adalah :P.

Well darlings,since it's something that we can't foresee,lets pray for the best & prepare for the worst.Shall we?

♥of.wreck.&.me.♥

My lil bro was involved in an accident last Sunday, on his way back from a friend's house. I only got to know about it from my mum LAST NIGHT. Phhhbbtttt... mum thought that she didn't want to bother me with the news during the weekend - since my bro escaped with nothing but some bruises and cuts tho the car is a total wreck Alhamdulillah..

I tried to call him last nite but I couldn't get through,perhaps he was already asleep or he might be a lil freaked out over the fact that he just turned my beloved bf(read:car) into a clump of besi buruk,the 4wd that served me well during my undergrad years. Well darling I'm not going to nag about the car, I couldn't careless. A car is just a car,it's something money can buy - to be exact, it's something dad's money can buy.(Note: Saya programmer cabuk,mana la ade duit nak beli keta.Shopping boleh la :P)he he. He was planning to switch the car with a new one anyway(new car for me? ehem! :D),so no worries hun. You're safe and that's all that matters.

Back to work.

p/s: my blessing in disguise?

♥of.whiney.&.me.♥

It has been almost a week and I'm still not loving the new place. It's just not for me, plus C*** and Munie have been urging me to find a new place since like.... forever.

*sighs*

The neighborhood is a tad scary & the bathroom is spooky.Kalau ayah awak tengok, dia halau balik Kedah. - kata C***

The area is not good la.Cepat-cepat la cari tempat lain.Serious.Ke awak nak duduk rumah gua? - Kata Munie.

Saya pon tak suka area rumah tu. Sangat spooky okay. Memang tak sanggup nak home alone during the weekend(walaupon dah amat jarang home alone sebab I'm not even home during the weekend.) - Kata yours truly.

Conclusion,I SERIOUSLY need to find a new place ASAP. I don't really mind if it gonna cost me an arm and a leg - as long as I'm not terrified of the idea of going back home at the end of the day or the possibility of being home alone during the weekend - it's like the least thing I wanna worry about since a house should always be a safe sanctuary. Somewhere you could be at peace after a long day at work.Kalau nak balik rumah pun takut-takut.Camne???

Haih.The whiney-me. C*** don't like me when I'm whiney,tapi suke tak?. :P

---

Owh,my older cousin called and asked me to help with her open house(read:tolong babysit anak dia while she's all busy with the guests) this weekend. How could I say no to babysit budak kecik yang comel sambil mencubit pipi mereka? *raises eyebrow* I don't mind taking care of kids - as long as I don't have to clean up their poo or something. :p

Well,I need to get back to my asp-oracle thingy.I'm off.

Tata.