I have tonnes of stuff in my head that deserves to be written out, to serve as a readable memory when I'm old and wrinkly.

I was waiting for my writing mojo to return, which probably not soon enough.

Anyway, I shall write about my dad today, about the trial that he's facing right now.

About a month ago, he had stroke which left him with hemiplegia - on the right side of his body.

If you ask me, I'd say that the news hit me like a dream, it still feels like a dream.

My dad was as healthy as any 60 years old man can be. He's an occasional jet setter with an active lifestyle, he even worked out at home. None of those typical high blood pressure & diabetes either - except for the fact that he's a smoker. (Sure, the stroke may happen due to a lot of other factors - high cholesterol level,lifestyle yada yada - but when you smoke, the risk for stroke is doubled.)

It is an addiction that I wish he didn't have, an addiction that I wish would come to a permanent stop for my loved ones (I won't go into details about who is who over here, but I bet you know who you are if you're reading this, if ever)  - especially those that are still in denial of the bad effects of smoking - like yea, if they are sick, it's not from the smoking ya know? It's must be due to some 'other' thing besides smoking. Smoking is after all, 'safe'. Talking about denial. T_T

Well, if there's something that I've learned from living with a smoker for the past 29 years of my life - is that no matter what you say or do, you'll never win. They need to experience it for themselves to learn their hard lessons.

No amount of preaching, lecturing, documentaries, awful pictures of smoking related diseases on ciggie box or horrid news will do. After all, jadi kat orang lain kan? Nothing to do with me, saya sihat walafiat, what can go wrong kan?

No,I'm not wishing for the worst to make them come to their senses. I wish there's an easy way to make them learn - like waking up one day to realize that smoking is bad for you and people around you. I truly do.

After all, smoking is something that you choose to do, not like how you can't choose your blood type, the color of your skin or ethnic that you're born with.

Okay, too much rambling about smoking. I could get a wee bit emotional like that.

Back to dad, after about 3 weeks at the hospital, we finally brought him back home a few days before Ramadan started. He's still in his rehabilitation phase right now. He's progressing. I wish for nothing but his speedy recovery and for to him to be able to be his normal self again, I miss his nagging (& I wish that I'm not living 4 hours away, I need a pintu suka hati).

I'd like to write more, but the thought of it is somewhat suffocating.

Stay strong Ayah, you know we love you.

Allahumma yassir wa laa tu`asir