♥of.ruined.&.me.♥

It's a perfect day, the cooling downfall, the romantic gloomy atmosphere, the hassle-free UAT deployment and whatnot.It's been great, until C*** told me that his 5 months training might be turned into 18 months instead. Greeeeeat!

So okie, my perfect day is ruined, like 89% ruined. All this while, I'm truly happy for his progress at work. I don't really mind about 5 months training and whatnot - but seriously, 18 months? It's more like being told that everything gonna be back to square one.

*sighs*

I would be lying if I tell him that I don't mind, because yea I do mind and it sucks. A part of me truly want him to go ahead with the training and later gain his scores at work. I do want him to do whatever it takes for his blooming career, but another half of me is like "You might be away for 18 blardy months? We'll be world apart and what the heck is going to happen to me, I'll ended up being totally bitter or worse find someone new, 18 months are THAT long.Anything can happen and I don't wanna risk it" - to cut it short, I am simply not happy.

Yes, I could be that paranoid and insecure. I cannot help it.

Yes, do add the selfishness too. I cannot help it either.

So how now brown cow?

p/s:Don't try to pull the "kalau jodoh tak kemana" crap on me. Not now. Not ever.